Sunday, December 29, 2019
What Does Judas Want?
The Suicide of Judas, ca. 1492, by John Canavesio
I tend to imagine that Judas betrayed Jesus (when he did) EITHER because of vain greed OR because of impatience in waiting for Jesus to fulfill his own (probably violent, militant) idol / image of the kingdom. I am also tempted to think that, all along, Judas was "sold out" EITHER for OR against Jesus. But, Judas' impatience is not disconnected from his greed, and - like Peter - he probably didn't really even know what he wanted. Heck, some fear of the authorities was probably mixed in there with his impatience at overcoming them, too.
If it were as simple and being moved by one desire integrated with its purpose, he wouldn't have needed Jesus to empower him to name and own his desire, to get out of his confused place of disordered paralysis (John 13: 27). This means that, like mine and yours, Judas' desires were not straight forward or of a single purpose. Humans aren't that simple. He likely felt conflicted.
Considering the confusion and disorder, I wonder how Judas would have reacted if he would have stuck around for the end of the story? In a sense, that's a bit of a nonsense and irrelevant question; it's not what happened, and we can't know. But, at the same time, my imaginative exercise of a question does function to articulate my point - which is that the revelation of truth in Jesus Christ is not only required for us to even have any bearings or orientation in relation to our confused mess of desires at all in the first place but also empowers us to own and name our desires, as well. I imagine that, if Judas had seen the resurrected Jesus, his desires leading to betrayal would likely have been drastically rearranged and reoriented.
See Matt. 27: 5 and Acts 1: 25 for context of the meaning of the above painting. I submit that it helps us understand part of why our desires are so difficult to understand or even see. It's because we're not gods. We don't create our desires and don't get to control them from above like a machinist. Instead, our hearts are gates between kingdoms. We are ever under the influence of and shaped by other forces and images of and for reality. We can't serve both God and money. Either way, however, we are servants. Just before Jesus empowers Judas to know and act on his desire, in fact, Jesus commands us to act as servants to one another (after serving us by washing our feet).
To precisely my point that the revelation of Jesus is the revelation of our disordered desires, from Matt. 27: 3 When Judas, his betrayer, saw that Jesus was condemned, he repented and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. 4 He said, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.”
Revelation of the king reveals where we are in relation to the kingdom. "Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known." - 1 Cor. 13: 12
I tend to imagine that Judas betrayed Jesus (when he did) EITHER because of vain greed OR because of impatience in waiting for Jesus to fulfill his own (probably violent, militant) idol / image of the kingdom. I am also tempted to think that, all along, Judas was "sold out" EITHER for OR against Jesus. But, Judas' impatience is not disconnected from his greed, and - like Peter - he probably didn't really even know what he wanted. Heck, some fear of the authorities was probably mixed in there with his impatience at overcoming them, too.
If it were as simple and being moved by one desire integrated with its purpose, he wouldn't have needed Jesus to empower him to name and own his desire, to get out of his confused place of disordered paralysis (John 13: 27). This means that, like mine and yours, Judas' desires were not straight forward or of a single purpose. Humans aren't that simple. He likely felt conflicted.
Considering the confusion and disorder, I wonder how Judas would have reacted if he would have stuck around for the end of the story? In a sense, that's a bit of a nonsense and irrelevant question; it's not what happened, and we can't know. But, at the same time, my imaginative exercise of a question does function to articulate my point - which is that the revelation of truth in Jesus Christ is not only required for us to even have any bearings or orientation in relation to our confused mess of desires at all in the first place but also empowers us to own and name our desires, as well. I imagine that, if Judas had seen the resurrected Jesus, his desires leading to betrayal would likely have been drastically rearranged and reoriented.
See Matt. 27: 5 and Acts 1: 25 for context of the meaning of the above painting. I submit that it helps us understand part of why our desires are so difficult to understand or even see. It's because we're not gods. We don't create our desires and don't get to control them from above like a machinist. Instead, our hearts are gates between kingdoms. We are ever under the influence of and shaped by other forces and images of and for reality. We can't serve both God and money. Either way, however, we are servants. Just before Jesus empowers Judas to know and act on his desire, in fact, Jesus commands us to act as servants to one another (after serving us by washing our feet).
To precisely my point that the revelation of Jesus is the revelation of our disordered desires, from Matt. 27: 3 When Judas, his betrayer, saw that Jesus was condemned, he repented and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. 4 He said, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.”
Revelation of the king reveals where we are in relation to the kingdom. "Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known." - 1 Cor. 13: 12
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