The Golden Ass

I drink my coffee with lots of cream and sugar. And lately I've been drinking a lot of coffee. So a couple of weeks ago, when I went to do some field work at a local elementary school (measuring and taking notes), I naturally had my coffee with me. On my way out of the building, I realized that I didn't have my coffee with me. Being an air head, I naturally had no idea where in the vastness of that entire elementary school I had left it. I just drove back to the office, feeling guilty that I had left it somewhere for the nice janitor lady to have to pick up.

This morning, I went back to that same elementary school to put the finishing touches on my field work. Naturally, I had my coffee with me. I walked into one randomly chosen classroom that exemplified the typical conditions of many other classrooms like it in the school to take a few photographs. In order to take the photographs and make notes on my sheet of paper, I naturally put my coffee down. Being an air head, I walked out of the room without my coffee, which of course I didn't realize until I was half way back down the hall. I turned around, found the classroom I had just been in, and thought: “OK so where in this room did I leave my coffee?” I saw a 7-11 coffee cup just like mine sitting right next to where I had made my notes on my paper, so I picked it up and took a sip on my way out of the room.

Thank God there happened to be a water fountain just outside that particular class room, because that was the nastiest thing I have ever put in my mouth. I would not call it coffee, exactly. I was more like two week old curdled half and half with a lot of sugar and cold coffee mixed in. When I poured it into the water fountain (after drinking a lot of water FROM said water fountain), there was some sort of unidentified slimy goo still stuck to the side of the cup. It was pretty nasty. And I drank it. Clearly the janitor had not picked up that coffee from two weeks ago. I no longer felt guilty, but I'm not so sure I'm happy with the trade off.

Now the kicker. On my way out of the elementary school today, I found myself thinking: “Now where on earth did I leave my coffee?”

True Story.

# posted by Jason Hesiak : 12:03 PM  0 Comments