The Golden Ass

These are photos of a church for sale in Norfolk. I passed it often while working in the area. There's a giant Chantel Rey real estate sign out front. This empty shell of a building stands as a glaringly banal sign of the dying church in North America.

Atheists basically say this means that the right side of history is winning. Progress.

Christians view this as an occasion for anger and panic. "We have to do something! Outlaw abortion; the 10 commandments in public schools! No! Fight with God for civil rights for the marginalized!" Every time I passed this building in the midst of my hurried busy-ness, I was pierced with a twinge of a confusion between, on the one hand, sharing in that antagonistic desperation and, on the other hand, anger at it.

I would like to submit that none of that is what God is really up to here. Actually, God is answering our prayers to make his name holy. "Hallowed by thy name." He's not going to have his name dragged through muddy trenches filled with the stench of death with the world's lust for power, on which the church is drunk and high.

In piercing repentance, there's always the possibility and hope for healing and rejuvenation, for sobriety and humanity, for "justice to roll down like waters."

But, I would remind us that in past situations of similar exile and ruin, God tells us how the story usually goes. Moses, because of his lack of trust, didn't step foot in the promised land. The old generation who trusted in the power, idols, and riches of Egypt's democracy and freedom had to die off. They weren't going to suddenly flip a switch. God could take them out of Egypt, yes. Even - and ESPECIALLY - if they would have found themselves in the middle of a "land flowing with milk and honey," however, He couldn't get the Egypt out of them. It was but a remnant of the old generation of post-exilic Jews who returned from Babylon.

I get staggering contact highs, too. May I not be overcome by the temptation to self-righteous indignation in anger or angst towards the church, nor in argument with progressive atheists (or nostalgic Christians). Instead, Lord, in trust and love, bind me to you, Christ crucified by the powers of Egypt.

* The above was posted originally on Facebook about a week and a half ago HERE.

I saw this image on Facebook a couple weeks ago. It was intended by a young man to be a silly meme in support of gun ownership. I'd say there's a lot there that he didn't necessarily intend or see. I'd further say that he unwittingly revealed precisely the problem, something hidden underneath our typical debates around guns, gender, and sexuality. So, said problem goes WAY further than guns. What this says isn't disconnected from cultural antagonisms around gender and sexuality.

The real issue is that both our images of male identity and of the power of gun possession function as idols in our world (which obviously aren't so disconnected from each other). This isn't a good case for either guns or manliness. Rather, this is how we know our image of manhood - and our relationships with women and with one another - are broken.

What do I mean by that? Put a gun in my hand, and it changes my image of who I am. This meme speaks to exactly what that means for us, quite viscerally.

This image of manhood is not nurturing, caring, "emotional," or anything else we typically ascribe to the image of woman. It's aggressive, adventurous, powerful, determined, etc.

This presents a false image of manhood that puts undo pressures on (all) men and creates undo antagonisms with and against women / femaleness, and men who don't care to fit the bill...

It's precisely why we have a lot of the antagonisms we have. (For example, the whole LGTBQ debate or the gendered bathroom debate). The LGTBQ debate isn't so separate from a little boy showing emotion and being screamed at, "Don't be a little girl!" The image of manhood tied to guns is very different from the image of a woman traumatized by rape with a gun in her hand.

So, this false image of manhood is also why we have tons of men who have no idea what it means to be or have a father or who have terrible relationships with their fathers - not to mention with women! Because the image of manhood that was presented to us - or more likely violently forced upon us ("You better quit crying, before I give you something to cry about!") - was damaging, hurtful, and caused broken relationships (the cloud of witnesses to this casts far too large of a shadow). And, deep down, we know this.

These images of male and female - particularly defined in antagonism with one another ("You better wipe those tears off your face, boy!") - simply aren't natural and/or weren't always the case.

*The above was slightly edited for blog form and was posted recently HERE on Facebook.

I discussed previously – HERE and HERE – how Jesus presents himself as a good, merciful, and loving King of a coming kingdom that’s inclusively for everyone at the beginning of Luke 17. This turns out to be pretty striking, because the passage can be easy to read as though Jesus is saying the opposite (making it easy to imagine a harsh God whose wrath is to be appeased, a demanding judge)!

Harold Camping's Prediction for The End of the World

This week’s lectionary passage picks up at Luke 18. In prayer this week, however, I got to wondering about the rest of Luke 17. So, keeping in mind the way Jesus binds us to himself and one another in obedient love through the rest of the first part of the chapter, I went and looked back at it.

The end of Luke 17 sounds like one of those "end times" passages. But, Jesus is not helping us predict and thus foreclose our knowledge of the end of the world. We are not being comforted with such knowledge and control. Instead, Jesus is telling us we can trust him when the shit hits the fan. So, as we go through here, keep in mind this ongoingly-discussed image of community bound to one another in a figure head who we trust...

20 Once Jesus was asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God was coming, and he answered, “The kingdom of God is not coming with things that can be observed; 21 nor will they say, ‘Look, here it is!’ or ‘There it is!’ For, in fact, the kingdom of God is among you.”
22 Then he said to the disciples…

Here, I simply noticed that, to answer the question, he had something different to say to the Pharisees than to his disciples. He was bound in different relation to one and the other. In addition, considering the nature of his relationship to his audience, he seems to be cryptically saying: “Quit bothering to speculate about the future. It’s already here standing in front of you answering your question.”

22 Then he said to the disciples, “The days are coming when you will long to see one of the days of the Son of Man, and you will not see it. 23 They will say to you, ‘Look there!’ or ‘Look here!’ Do not go, do not set off in pursuit.

This seems to suggest that he, in comparison to the cryptic nature of what he had to say to outsiders, was giving inside information to those to whom he was bound in closest relationship. Jesus is telling his closest friends not to be tempted to listen to those foreign voices who he is not here addressing. “Look, when you hear everyone else getting all hysterical about a possible or apparent Messiah bringing the kingdom, don’t bother. Don’t pay that nonsense any mind. I’m right here with you."

In my mind, then, as I’m reading this, I’m also starting to question how I’ve read these verses my whole life. If Jesus just told the Pharisees that the kingdom was right in front of them in his very person, then perhaps this isn’t about “the end times” that only Jesus, of all people, would presumably know about? That's how we normally read verses like this. If that’s way I grew up reading such verses isn't right, then what other “inside information” is Jesus giving? I’m connecting what he says here to: “It’s better for you that I depart” (John 16: 7), and “I am with you always to the end of the Age” (Matt. 28: 20).

In other words, to quote The Big Lebowski “in the parlance of our times": “Trust me Dude; don’t freak out when the Nazis threaten to cut off your johnson.” To that point, he doesn’t say, “I WILL be with you.” He says, “I AM with you.” “Before Abraham was, I am.” He's basically telling his disciples they can trust him.

24 For as the lightning flashes and lights up the sky from one side to the other, so will the Son of Man be in his day. 25 But first he must endure much suffering and be rejected by this generation.

Wait. “He must endure much suffering and be rejected by this generation.” This sounds like he’s talking about a specific event of his own life!? Now I’m starting to feel convinced that this set of Nostradamus Jesus verses aren’t what I thought they were! Also, please note that the phrase “rejected by this generation” sounds like he’s continuing his running theme of binding relationship to a particular community of people. Or, in this case, unbinding.

Also remember that the question he’s answering is WHEN the kingdom of God is coming. “When I suffer and am rejected.” Wait. Jesus, what!? Whose kingdom comes when they are rejected!? That makes no damn sense! Whose foolish king is one who’s rejected by his foolish subjects? That’s pretty striking.

Let’s try, however, to suspend our disbelief. Let’s move past the utter foolishness for a second. We haven’t gotten to the end of the story, so that’s about all we can do, right? So where does that leave us disciples in relation to the leaders of Israel!? Or of America? Or of our church? Who would reject the Messiah! He’s THE MAN! What kind of idiots would reject THE DUDE!? What’s going on here?

26 Just as it was in the days of Noah, so too it will be in the days of the Son of Man. 27 They were eating and drinking, and marrying and being given in marriage, until the day Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed all of them. 28 Likewise, just as it was in the days of Lot: they were eating and drinking, buying and selling, planting and building, 29 but on the day that Lot left Sodom, it rained fire and sulfur from heaven and destroyed all of them 30 —it will be like that on the day that the Son of Man is revealed.

Screenshot of the Ending to "A Serious Man"...


So, if the running theme is more primarily about bound or unbound, relationship to a community of people – attachment or detachment - than about prediction of “the end times,” then…then what? Does that mean he’s not telling us to remain on high alert for lightening in the sky like Harold Camping? I wonder what happened on May 21!? It does look like Camping was right about the whole judgment thing, though. Jesus references two stories about judgment, so those might be clues.

If “Judgment Day” being on May 21st doesn’t mean that we should stay home and read our inductive bible studies while watching Christian TV broadcasts up until that day in 2011, then maybe the relationships to which God binds us in Himself to his community are pretty important. Maybe those who reject him, those who unbind themselves in relation to himself and his community…they’re being judged? Wait a second…

Then who is he to be enacting this communal judgment of God!? Who are you to tell ME what to do, Jesus! I’m my own person! This is my personal, individual bible study you’re interrupting! I have Free Will!

Well, I mean, he HAD just told the Pharisees that the kingdom was among them in his very own person.

31 On that day, anyone on the housetop who has belongings in the house must not come down to take them away; and likewise anyone in the field must not turn back. 32 Remember Lot’s wife. 33 Those who try to make their life secure will lose it, but those who lose their life will keep it. 34 I tell you, on that night there will be two in one bed; one will be taken and the other left. 35 There will be two women grinding meal together; one will be taken and the other left.”

OK, so, review. We’re talking about when the kingdom will come. So, how again is this not one of those "end times" passages? We’ve come to two basic points of discussion in response. For one, we’re talking about being rightly bound relationships of justice and covenant love and in Jesus. Hence the sense of urgency in verse 31. So, by extension, we’re talking about judgment of those outside of that binding love in abundant grace. Also, the judgment will somehow strikingly happen when Jesus “suffers many things and [is] rejected.” I guess that makes sense, though, since one who rejects is clearly no longer bound in relationship to the one rejected. Just ask the women who don’t want anything to do with me, lol.

What verses 31-35 seem to evoke, then, is the mysterious nature of what it means to cleave to or decleave from this binding relationship. Being "taken and left" is language of being bound and unbound in relationship. “But, she was showing sings of interest. What happened? This is so confusing! Where did she go?"

Who wants to be bound to one rejected? That requires a lot of love, support, and trust. More than what most people exhibit in the face of such “peer pressure,” that’s for sure! And, it’s about more than just social pressure and acceptance, too. In an honor and shame culture, life and death are at stake in honor and insult. Whoever remains bound to one who the authorities reject is probably walking on thin ice. “Those who try to make their life secure will lose it, but those who lose their life will keep it.” It presents quite a challenge and question before my tossing heart. This is starting to sound more difficult than “believing” in the right doctrines. It's starting to sound like predicting and thus foreclosing our knowledge of the "end times" is the very opposite of what Jesus is saying to us here. We are not being comforted with such control and power.

So, in the light of this evocative mystery of trust, in light of such a difficult question presented before the heart of humans when it had just become abundantly clear that only idiots would reject THE DUDE, it makes sense that the next thing out of the confused disciples’ mouths is a question:

37 Then they asked him, “Where, Lord?” He said to them, “Where the corpse is, there the vultures will gather.”

They THOUGHT they had this question answered.

Peter said to him, “Even though I must die with you, I will not deny you.” And so said all the disciples. – Matthew 26: 35

It’s easy for me to think I have it answered, too. So, I ask one more time: “Where, Lord?” I doubt I’m much less confused than they. It might not be where I think. “Occasions for stumbling are BOUND to come…” (Luke 17: 1).

I previously posted - HERE - lessons learned in prayer and study on Luke 17: 1-10. There, Jesus says some - at first glance - apparently harsh words about hanging a millstone around someone’s neck and telling us we “must” do stuff. He then tells the disciples that just a tiny bit of faith can accomplish a lot when they ask him to help them. He answers by comparing us to “worthlessly” obedient slaves whose only task is to obey their master.

Rather confused and taken aback at first, I worked through that passage and was given to see that it doesn’t start by our being told we must “believe” or else! He’s pointing to the value and importance of right relationship. So, when it hits us how difficult that is, we ask for help on how to trust him on what he’s pointing us towards. He basically responds by telling us to trust him in his authority as King of all Creation. After all, this all started by talking about forgiveness and restoration to right relationship!

So, Jesus then cleanses 10 lepers. And, one comes back to praise and thank him.

Though it was actually quite important to my previous point, what I didn’t discuss there was the millstone reference in the first part of Luke 17.

Occasions for stumbling are bound to come, but woe to anyone by whom they come! 2 It would be better for you if a millstone were hung around your neck and you were thrown into the sea than for you to cause one of these little ones to stumble. – verses 1 &2

In my previous post, I noted briefly that Jesus “is talking about healing restoration of right relationships in love” in verses 1-5. This is true, of course. But, what I didn’t note was the power dynamics at play in the background, which Jesus here brings to the foreground and addresses. There’s a new judge in town. And, he’s the figure head of enemy love rather than of harsh gavel slamming. There's no place for Judge Judy's abusiveness in the kingdom of God.

The Look On My Face When Judge Judy Yells At Me Constantly

We know that the disciples spent time arguing over who was to be the greatest among them in the kingdom (Luke 22: 24-30). The reason Judge Judy irritates me is because I constantly want to ask her who the hell she thinks she is to be yelling at me all the time. *picture me beating my chest lol*

We also know that the hope of Israel for the Messiah was the overthrow of Rome to recover the rule of God in the Promised Land. That discussion from Luke 22 includes this: “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them…” Jesus is telling his followers not to operate that way. When Judge Judy irritates me, I want but don’t have the authority to be able to slap her in her big mouth!

Apparently that was a very real temptation. Whether their arguing amongst themselves was a one off thing, the “snare” was always present among them (Exodus 23: 33). After all, why else did he say “Occasions for stumbling are bound to come…”!? If this is the temptation Jesus is addressing, then, per my previous point, his rather untechnical “you musts” and “worthless servants” rhetoric doesn't come out sounding so harsh and demeaning. As I mentioned, it turns out that Jesus is simply asking them to trust and obey his goodness and love. From Luke 22:

27 For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.
28 “You are those who have stood by me in my trials; 29 and I confer on you, just as my Father has conferred on me, a kingdom, 30 so that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom, and you will sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.

So, apparently God’s “rule” looks like self-sacrificial service and graceful forgiveness rather than my slapping Judge Judy the “Gentile who lords it over me.”

This means that the one getting a millstone hung around his neck and cast into the sea is the figure of the Roman oppressor who “Lords it over them.” This also means, however, that we can’t forget the caveat that the disciples – that’s us - are tempted to embody and enact the causing of “one of these little ones to stumble” rather than acting “as one who serves.” I become Judge Judy as soon as I slap her. In Luke 17, then, Jesus is taking the occasion of the anger of the oppressed towards the oppressor as an occasion to, in a very visceral way, teach what the Kingdom of God is like. He’s telling his Jewish disciples to forgive their Roman oppressors and their enemies. I guess I don’t get to slap that Judge Judy lady, after all. No wonder they ask him for help in the next verse!

Next thing you know, Jesus is showing great honor to a foreigner, a Samaritan who Israel hates. Why does Jesus keep challenging me like this!?

18 Was none of them found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” 19 Then he said to him, “Get up and go on your way; your faith has made you well.”

This “foreigner” is praised for having the faith the disciples are asking for help increasing. It’s as if Jesus points an Alt-right guy out to ANTIFA and says, “See, this is how it’s done!” Those inferior and impure little Samaritans! "Just cuz that one Nazi guy didn’t slap Judge Judy!?" I didn’t either!...yet…

Apparently, the Kingdom of God is for EVERYONE. Not just those who are like us, not just for those who we trust, love, and identify with. And, that’s because the king of said Kingdom – that’s Jesus – is himself a good King full of love and mercy (“…you must forgive…seven times…”). “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for..”

So, when Jesus says “occasions for stumbling are BOUND to come,” he is addressing a basic identity and power dynamic among the peoples of humanity that is common to the human condition. And, he’s not only taking the side of “the little ones” but – by the end of the story, we see that he’s identifying himself as one of them while, at the same time, commanding his “worthless servants” to do the same! He reveals that it's impossible for the people of God to play the role of abuser within the basic fabric of reality to which human relationships are bound. In the end, he also enacts the command he gave us to offer forgiveness to our abusive enemies for whom it's better to be thrown into the sea with a millstone around their necks than to enact the power struggle to which they tempt us.

What he's doing is giving us a picture of what his "steadfast love" looks like. It doesn't look like Judge Judy and her demanding aggressiveness, despite what my bones cry out at times. And, it is "steadfast," precisely because "occasions for stumbling are bound to come." Judge Judy is our inevitable occasion for stumbling rather than the image of the way God actually works. God is not a demanding judge. That's precisely why it would be better for the figures of demanding judges to have millstones around their neck in the sea. They put us on the path of death rather than of life.

I posted the following on Facebook back on Sept. 1, 2019:

As I work through the Gravity Leadership material, they keep asking me what or which imagine of God influences me in this way or that.

Well, it's becoming abundantly clear to me that I'm a functioning polytheist.

Not including ones I haven't figured out yet, I serve gods fashioned in the images of Judge Judy, Rage Against the Machine, the hot golem Woman (think Jewish mysticism rather than Lord of the Rings lol) in "Weird Science" (1985 film, Google it if you want lol), and Regis Philbin dotingly hosting "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire."

And, half the time, multiple of these are at work at the same time.

I am a confusing mess! LOL

Thank you Jesus and Gravity Leadership for helping me sort through this mess who is me! Haha

One week later, as a follow up to that ongoing story of my discipleship, I posted the following. As God teaches me about Himself, I see him in the scriptural narrative in ways to which I was previously blind!:

Lessons learned in prayer as Jason becomes more attuned to the actual Jesus rather than the wrathful and violent one he previously imagined as a projection of his own ego and how he/it has been shaped and formed...

Or, Jesus Is Not Judge Judy, Continued:

This week's Lectionary passage of Luke 17: 5-10 is preceded contextually by this:

17 Jesus said to his disciples, “Occasions for stumbling are bound to come, but woe to anyone by whom they come! 2 It would be better for you if a millstone were hung around your neck and you were thrown into the sea than for you to cause one of these little ones to stumble. 3 Be on your guard! If another disciple sins, you must rebuke the offender, and if there is repentance, you must forgive. 4 And if the same person sins against you seven times a day, and turns back to you seven times and says, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive.”

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Me in the past: Ouch. That sounds harsh, Jesus!

Me now after having learned something about my false image of God fashioned in the image of the harsh and self-asserting "Judge Judy":
Oh, Jesus is talking about healing restoration of right relationships in love! And oh! - what I read in the past as "harsh" is Jesus' rhetorical indication of how connected his love is to life itself! In other words, he's simply saying that disconnection and disunity are death. I guess this should have struck me as obvious (though it didn't), because death is exactly what alienation feels like.

Moving into the actual Lectionary passage...

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5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” 6 The Lord replied, “If you had faith the size of a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.

Me in the past: So, was this a whole different conversation? What's going on here? How is this connected to what just happened in the conversation? Lol

Me now: Implicitly reading between the lines - us disciples tend to find this loving, restorative union in love thing difficult! And, this is not an abstracted fragmentation from the previous paragraph. When the disciples ask for more "faith," they're asking for help TRUSTING the WORDS just spoken by their master and teacher! The very fact that they felt comfortable asking him for help is telling about the falsity of my previous harsh reading of verses 1-5.

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7 “Who among you would say to your slave who has just come in from plowing or tending sheep in the field, ‘Come here at once and take your place at the table’? 8 Would you not rather say to him, ‘Prepare supper for me, put on your apron and serve me while I eat and drink; later you may eat and drink’? 9 Do you thank the slave for doing what was commanded? 10 So you also, when you have done all that you were ordered to do, say, ‘We are worthless slaves; we have done only what we ought to have done!’”

Me in the past: Soooo, this is a whole OTHER conversation, AGAIN? What's going on here? And, this doesn't sound very edifying?

Me now: Oh! Duh. The DIFFICULTY we have with Jesus' talk about restoration to unity and it's importance / cost is because of our pride! Jesus is addressing our blind self-assertion that gets in the way of healing and reconciling love.

Also, hmm, I now wonder if the previous talk of the uprooting of "this mulberry tree" with "trust the size of a mustard seed" is a reference to my deeply rooted pain and bitterness that I mask with my pride?

So, his analogies about service and unworthiness are not the harsh words of a task master. They are healing balm for the wary. "Just trust me" makes sense if He is good, and if he is Love. So, in reality, what Jesus says here is quite edifying. To suggest that faith is tied to obedient trust in the Words of Jesus is precisely to lighten our load and ease our yolk, to trust in the streams of life that flow from the belly when we listen obediently, even if a big part of us doesn't want to and finds it difficult.

Jesus isn't telling us we're a bunch of losers and to get our shit together. He's saying to trust him in his love (precisely because he's not Judge Judy :P )

So, may this blog post serve as a record or compilation of a big part of what God's been up to recently. I suspect I will continue to learn that and how Jesus is not Judge Judy :P

Index to my blog series on how aspiration to desire for the heights of the figure of the porn star take the place of the presence and rule of the risen Christ. Medusa was a half divine figure whose stunning beauty was capable of "turning men to stone." That's why, when we see Medusa the Porn Star at work (particularly in the shaping of my male desire), we also see things that are inhuman. We become what we behold. After the male hero of the story dominated her, she was regarded as a monster. That's why Jesus was disfigured beyond recognition.

"Fear opens the door of death, and through fear of death, we become slaves of our own desires...When we turn creatures into gods we also seek to TURN STONES TO BREAD, rather than living by the BREAD OF LIFE (John 6: 25-59) that comes from God." - Doug Harink on 1 Peter 2: 1-3

…if indeed you have TASTED that the Lord is good. As you come to him, A LIVING STONE rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves LIKE LIVING STONES are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 2:3‭-‬5

Medusa The Porn Star, Jesus the Risen Star, Part 1
How we continue to enact the story of Medusa, beginning to take the story of Medusa from an abstracted myth to our daily life and embodied sexual desires.

Medusa The Porn Star, Jesus the Risen Star, Part 2
Continuing to weave the story of Medusa together with our lives, particularly how the violence and brokenness of our sexuality was told to us generations ago in a myth we generally dismiss as being foreign, alien, and irrelevant to us.

Porn Star The Medusa, Risen Star The Jesus, Part 3
How the "objectification" of the Porn Star as an extension of the lifeless, fragmented, bloody body of the beheaded Medusa. She's really just a girl who desires intimacy and relationship. The risen Jesus to Thomas, breaking the image of an impossible fantasy with the invitation to intimate trust: "Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side…" - John 20: 27.

Porn Star The Medusa, Risen Star The Jesus, Part 4
On how Jesus bears the trauma inflicted upon Medusa by our jealousy and rage that arise out of our reaching for disordered desires for false fantasies, for idols. "In the past few years we have had a huge increase in intimate partner rape of women from 14 to 80+. The biggest common denominator is consumption of porn by the offender. With offenders not able to differentiate between fantasy and reality..." And on the woman's temptation to embody the figure of the Porn Star / Medusa: "[I]f he wants to hit me, tie me up and stalk me, does that mean he loves me?" - Growing Up In Pornland