Sunday, November 25, 2018
A Gentle Kick In the Pants of Conviction From A Poor Widow
THE BACKGROUND
About two years ago, I was asked to co-pastor a small church plant in the area where I grew up. The more we got involved in that church plant, the more excited I got about it. For the most part and in many ways, we were basically doing exactly what I had hoped to do in a church for quite some time. That’s the direction we were heading, at least. The lead pastor and I were being shaped and formed by the same teachers, and members of the community were being shaped into Jesus in profound ways that run directly counter to the cultural values that shape most every other church I’ve ever seen or been a part of.
It was glorious and beautiful. About eight months ago now, that church fell apart in tragedy and trauma.
Since then, I haven't had a church to call home. I have floated around between two different churches. Sometimes, I have stayed home and “done something spiritual”…or something. One of the churches I have popped in and out of is an African American church near where I live and in which I have some close relationships with some people I respect greatly and learn from in deeply profound ways. The other is a Reformed church, the one from which I was "sent" to plant the church that eventually fell apart.
I love both churches. But, now that I have tasted the sweet flavor of committing to something I felt so comfortable committing to, I feel lost. I no longer feel comfortable committing to the very church where I was a member previously. Granted, I committed there while knowing I didn't agree with them on everything, and even on some important things (I lean Anabaptist). And, granted, I hadn't committed to the African American church before at all. But, I likely would have if presented with the opportunity at the time, all things being even.
In this time of a kind of self-imposed exile, I also haven't been giving (in the form of tithing). After all, where would I give/tithe? I have felt somewhat conflicted about this, but I saw it as a symptom of my pilgrimage. And, I figured God would lead me to give and tithe somewhere when and as He led me to tie down somewhere in the first place. I knew I had some baggage to unpack, anyway. Though I wasn't sure what said baggage even was.
THE POOR WIDOW
Back in mid-September, I went to NYC for a prayer school with Brian Zahnd. I have since then been praying as I was taught, basically every day. Soon thereafter, a bunch of beautiful things started happening. Well, now one of them is that God used a poor Palestinian widow and a dear African American friend to gently kick me pants of my convictions.
Remember the background here. The reason I haven't felt comfortable committing to either of the above noted churches is because of deeply held beliefs and practices that I don't agree with, mostly centered around questions of Western imperial power, coercion, and control that shape our epistemology, ecclesiology, economics, ideology, and hermeneutics (among other things).
With that in mind, in prayer last weekend, God gently but powerfully confronted me with the difference between my attitude and that of the poor widow.
Out of her love for God and people, this poor widow not only gives “everything she has” but also trusts that God is present and at work among a community that appears - very obviously, I might add - to be ruled by a pretentious brood of vipers who "devour the houses" of women just like her. The leaders and figureheads of the community into which she is entrusting herself are the very reason she has so little to give!
In the end, her trust turns out to be not because of the pretentious vipers but because of the presence of Jesus, the very one who was sitting there watching her put “all she had” in the coffers.
There was a message here for me. I’m not in exactly the same situation, but an analogous one. It is a poor and incomplete analogy for my situation, though, since none of the leaders of either of the above noted churches are "pretentious vipers." It is still, however, for me a useful analogy. Or perhaps for God, since this happened in prayer.
In any case, her trust that God is present and at work in a people who leave her the victim of great injustice gently revealed to me that I have not been trusting in God to be present and at work among a people who, on the one hand, are in many ways complicit with unjust powers (as I perceive the situation) but, on the other hand, have consistently shown that they care about me.
I may see ways in which unjust powers are at work among the churches, and it frustrates me, but I am no where near in the position of that poor widow. If she can muster some trust and faith for her community, and I can’t, then….well…then what?
So, last weekend, in prayer, I felt a sense of conviction that God was at work to lead me to commit and bind myself to a community sooner rather than later. That my “time of exile” was coming to a close. But, I had a sense that God had something left to do, still. Some healing after the trauma. I had a vague sense that maybe it wasn’t injustice that was preventing my commitment. After all, Jesus entrusted himself to Israel and humanity, and look how that went over. That didn’t stop him.
Maybe my pride in knowing the things I knew that enabled me to see the things I see was the real point of difference from the “Poor Widow.” Maybe that was what was really preventing me from entrusting myself to the people of God. Maybe she was just more humble than me. But….but that sense of mine was pretty vague. Its contours were pretty blurry.
THE GENTLE KICK IN THE PANTS
This morning, before attending the above noted African American church, I had a beautifully fruitful discussion on Facebook with a whole different African American friend who I met over a year ago at a church planting conference. He posted the following (about John Chau, btw):
In a sense, the context of his post doesn’t matter. It was about the national conversation about John Chau’s death, but, the second part, especially, could have been about just about anything in our world: politics, economics, fallen celebrity pastors, etc.
Remember, though, that the background here is my frustration – a euphemism for occasional anger, really – with the church. So, this post from my friend struck a deep chord with me. The above noted reasons for peoples’ anger with the church are basically the exact same as my own. Except that the story isn’t only in the past but also the present. As an (prime) example of my point, the segregation between the two churches I’ve considered committing to again is precisely because of the “colonialism, racism, genocide, rape, coercion, and everything else used to ‘spread the gospel’.”
A wise black man commented on my friend’s post that perhaps we shouldn’t blame “the church,” since these are issues propagated by the WHITE church. Not the black church. My African American friend – Michael is his name – pushed back on that a bit, noting:
Michael touched my open wound. So, I gingerly weighed in. I talked in a fair bit of detail about the ways my friends at the African American church I attend teach me about lament, acceptance of reality, and patience in the face of injustice, but that their basic model for "church" seems to be built on white, imperial power structures. So, I lamented that the very reasons for the segregation between the two churches I’m trying to choose between are at work in both. I noted that deep and very personal conversations with some members of that African American church, along with reading Willie Jennings on “Whiteness,” have helped me to understand why that is the case. But, I felt like this was only a glimmer of understanding. I also noted how heavy my heart was as I shared what I had seen and experienced in the African American church.
To the point of Michael’s post, he didn’t respond with anger, defensiveness, distancing, or scapegoating. He had this to say:
And now “the kicker”….
OK well that was a gentle kick in the pants...and very helpful.
So, it turns out that if the Poor Widow can muster measures of trust, faith, love – and commitment - for her community, and I can’t, then…well…then I’m full of pride that I didn’t know was there…until God, through Michael, helped me to see it.
It turns out that the very things I was lamenting were shaping my response to the problems I was perceiving. I was trying to address them “from above.” I was not “committed to the slow work of meeting people where they are even if they don't think issues are as pressing as I think.” Heck, I wasn’t even “in”…any church at all! I was not “invested in local, small work.” And, to my vague point above about pride in what I know, I wanted people to care how much I’ve read, theologically or not (that's a slight exaggeration, because I really do care about the issues themselves, but likely only a slight exaggeration). Basically, I was on a power trip.
“You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” “Community work is humbling AF LOL”
I still don’t know where I’m going to end up. But, after the above noted “Graceful Kick In the Pants” conversation, my prayer this morning was a fairly well articulated one that God, in His grace and presence by which He’s given me to see my pride in the first place, help me not use my knowledge that distinguishes me from others to separate myself from them. To not unconsciously – and even against my conscious will – treat others as though they are separate from and below me, since they don’t know what I know (at least not apparently). To be honest, that sounds utterly stupid as I even type it out and proofread it. But, functionally speaking, it’s obviously the reality of what I’ve been doing in my life.
The whole point of why I was given the knowledge I’ve been given in the first place was and is the presence and grace of Jesus among us as one crucified, as one who suffers for others-centered, self-sacrificial love. It was the pursuit of Jesus that led to seeing the importance of his victory over the powers of this world in particular ways that said powers are typically taken for granted and left unquestioned. Perhaps I can be given to use what I know to exactly that end rather than to the ends I was apparently using it previously in my church plant without realizing it – while I was tithing, btw. Maybe the poor widow had more to give than I did in the first place, but God used her to give me more of what she had.
About two years ago, I was asked to co-pastor a small church plant in the area where I grew up. The more we got involved in that church plant, the more excited I got about it. For the most part and in many ways, we were basically doing exactly what I had hoped to do in a church for quite some time. That’s the direction we were heading, at least. The lead pastor and I were being shaped and formed by the same teachers, and members of the community were being shaped into Jesus in profound ways that run directly counter to the cultural values that shape most every other church I’ve ever seen or been a part of.
It was glorious and beautiful. About eight months ago now, that church fell apart in tragedy and trauma.
Since then, I haven't had a church to call home. I have floated around between two different churches. Sometimes, I have stayed home and “done something spiritual”…or something. One of the churches I have popped in and out of is an African American church near where I live and in which I have some close relationships with some people I respect greatly and learn from in deeply profound ways. The other is a Reformed church, the one from which I was "sent" to plant the church that eventually fell apart.
I love both churches. But, now that I have tasted the sweet flavor of committing to something I felt so comfortable committing to, I feel lost. I no longer feel comfortable committing to the very church where I was a member previously. Granted, I committed there while knowing I didn't agree with them on everything, and even on some important things (I lean Anabaptist). And, granted, I hadn't committed to the African American church before at all. But, I likely would have if presented with the opportunity at the time, all things being even.
In this time of a kind of self-imposed exile, I also haven't been giving (in the form of tithing). After all, where would I give/tithe? I have felt somewhat conflicted about this, but I saw it as a symptom of my pilgrimage. And, I figured God would lead me to give and tithe somewhere when and as He led me to tie down somewhere in the first place. I knew I had some baggage to unpack, anyway. Though I wasn't sure what said baggage even was.
THE POOR WIDOW
Back in mid-September, I went to NYC for a prayer school with Brian Zahnd. I have since then been praying as I was taught, basically every day. Soon thereafter, a bunch of beautiful things started happening. Well, now one of them is that God used a poor Palestinian widow and a dear African American friend to gently kick me pants of my convictions.
And in his teaching he said, “Beware of the scribes, who like to walk around in long robes and like greetings in the marketplaces and have the best seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at feasts, who devour widows’ houses and for a pretense make long prayers. They will receive the greater condemnation.”
And he sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. And he called his disciples to him and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”
Mark 12:38-44
Remember the background here. The reason I haven't felt comfortable committing to either of the above noted churches is because of deeply held beliefs and practices that I don't agree with, mostly centered around questions of Western imperial power, coercion, and control that shape our epistemology, ecclesiology, economics, ideology, and hermeneutics (among other things).
With that in mind, in prayer last weekend, God gently but powerfully confronted me with the difference between my attitude and that of the poor widow.
Out of her love for God and people, this poor widow not only gives “everything she has” but also trusts that God is present and at work among a community that appears - very obviously, I might add - to be ruled by a pretentious brood of vipers who "devour the houses" of women just like her. The leaders and figureheads of the community into which she is entrusting herself are the very reason she has so little to give!
In the end, her trust turns out to be not because of the pretentious vipers but because of the presence of Jesus, the very one who was sitting there watching her put “all she had” in the coffers.
There was a message here for me. I’m not in exactly the same situation, but an analogous one. It is a poor and incomplete analogy for my situation, though, since none of the leaders of either of the above noted churches are "pretentious vipers." It is still, however, for me a useful analogy. Or perhaps for God, since this happened in prayer.
In any case, her trust that God is present and at work in a people who leave her the victim of great injustice gently revealed to me that I have not been trusting in God to be present and at work among a people who, on the one hand, are in many ways complicit with unjust powers (as I perceive the situation) but, on the other hand, have consistently shown that they care about me.
I may see ways in which unjust powers are at work among the churches, and it frustrates me, but I am no where near in the position of that poor widow. If she can muster some trust and faith for her community, and I can’t, then….well…then what?
So, last weekend, in prayer, I felt a sense of conviction that God was at work to lead me to commit and bind myself to a community sooner rather than later. That my “time of exile” was coming to a close. But, I had a sense that God had something left to do, still. Some healing after the trauma. I had a vague sense that maybe it wasn’t injustice that was preventing my commitment. After all, Jesus entrusted himself to Israel and humanity, and look how that went over. That didn’t stop him.
Maybe my pride in knowing the things I knew that enabled me to see the things I see was the real point of difference from the “Poor Widow.” Maybe that was what was really preventing me from entrusting myself to the people of God. Maybe she was just more humble than me. But….but that sense of mine was pretty vague. Its contours were pretty blurry.
THE GENTLE KICK IN THE PANTS
"Perhaps it’s not sinfulness that causes people to be angry at Xtians. Maybe it’s bc Xtians have done a terrible job of presenting him that people can’t separate colonialism, racism, genocide, rape, coercion, and everything else used to “spread the gospel” from who Jesus really is-- Ally Henny
I think it's important to hold all of these various perspectives together and sit with them. Instead of merely arguing for our own in a posture of defensiveness. The church has wreaked carnage on whole nations and populations that we can't act as if that doesn't shape how many will see and perceive of this narrative.
In a sense, the context of his post doesn’t matter. It was about the national conversation about John Chau’s death, but, the second part, especially, could have been about just about anything in our world: politics, economics, fallen celebrity pastors, etc.
Remember, though, that the background here is my frustration – a euphemism for occasional anger, really – with the church. So, this post from my friend struck a deep chord with me. The above noted reasons for peoples’ anger with the church are basically the exact same as my own. Except that the story isn’t only in the past but also the present. As an (prime) example of my point, the segregation between the two churches I’ve considered committing to again is precisely because of the “colonialism, racism, genocide, rape, coercion, and everything else used to ‘spread the gospel’.”
A wise black man commented on my friend’s post that perhaps we shouldn’t blame “the church,” since these are issues propagated by the WHITE church. Not the black church. My African American friend – Michael is his name – pushed back on that a bit, noting:
“an unhealthy way of relating to power that thrives in [BOTH] ‘black’ churches and ‘white’ churches, even if on smaller scales. All of which hurts our witness and betrays our vocation.”
Michael touched my open wound. So, I gingerly weighed in. I talked in a fair bit of detail about the ways my friends at the African American church I attend teach me about lament, acceptance of reality, and patience in the face of injustice, but that their basic model for "church" seems to be built on white, imperial power structures. So, I lamented that the very reasons for the segregation between the two churches I’m trying to choose between are at work in both. I noted that deep and very personal conversations with some members of that African American church, along with reading Willie Jennings on “Whiteness,” have helped me to understand why that is the case. But, I felt like this was only a glimmer of understanding. I also noted how heavy my heart was as I shared what I had seen and experienced in the African American church.
To the point of Michael’s post, he didn’t respond with anger, defensiveness, distancing, or scapegoating. He had this to say:
Jason Hesiak Honestly, my angst comes from what you've said. Many black churches have simply recontextualized white ecclesial norms, white theological norms, white epistemological norms, etc and simply have to do so with less money or less support with unique challenges that face the black community. That's a problem. It's why I'm not in a rush to tell people "look to the black church" as their knight and shining church because we are just as messy. We all have a lot of unlearning and re-learning to do.…
And now “the kicker”….
Jason Hesiak I also say this as someone currently in the black church, one that I love, and one that is not perfect and fits this in ways that we aren't aware of. I guess that's why I'm more invested in local, small work than attacking issues from above, these issues are so complex and taking the theological formation I have on this space into my community is not easy because who gives AF how much theology I've read? LOL I still have to be committed to the slow work of meeting people where they are even if they don't think issues are as pressing as I think. Community work is humbling AF LOL
OK well that was a gentle kick in the pants...and very helpful.
So, it turns out that if the Poor Widow can muster measures of trust, faith, love – and commitment - for her community, and I can’t, then…well…then I’m full of pride that I didn’t know was there…until God, through Michael, helped me to see it.
It turns out that the very things I was lamenting were shaping my response to the problems I was perceiving. I was trying to address them “from above.” I was not “committed to the slow work of meeting people where they are even if they don't think issues are as pressing as I think.” Heck, I wasn’t even “in”…any church at all! I was not “invested in local, small work.” And, to my vague point above about pride in what I know, I wanted people to care how much I’ve read, theologically or not (that's a slight exaggeration, because I really do care about the issues themselves, but likely only a slight exaggeration). Basically, I was on a power trip.
“You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” “Community work is humbling AF LOL”
I still don’t know where I’m going to end up. But, after the above noted “Graceful Kick In the Pants” conversation, my prayer this morning was a fairly well articulated one that God, in His grace and presence by which He’s given me to see my pride in the first place, help me not use my knowledge that distinguishes me from others to separate myself from them. To not unconsciously – and even against my conscious will – treat others as though they are separate from and below me, since they don’t know what I know (at least not apparently). To be honest, that sounds utterly stupid as I even type it out and proofread it. But, functionally speaking, it’s obviously the reality of what I’ve been doing in my life.
The whole point of why I was given the knowledge I’ve been given in the first place was and is the presence and grace of Jesus among us as one crucified, as one who suffers for others-centered, self-sacrificial love. It was the pursuit of Jesus that led to seeing the importance of his victory over the powers of this world in particular ways that said powers are typically taken for granted and left unquestioned. Perhaps I can be given to use what I know to exactly that end rather than to the ends I was apparently using it previously in my church plant without realizing it – while I was tithing, btw. Maybe the poor widow had more to give than I did in the first place, but God used her to give me more of what she had.
The Groaning Humility of A Hallowed God
Back in mid-September, I went to NYC for a prayer school with Brian Zahnd. Soon thereafter, a bunch of beautiful things started happening. One of them was that I started to see a bunch of connections in and between things that I hadn't seen or noticed before. It was as though my imagination was enlarged by the presence of God in prayer. One morning last weekend, God taught me about prayer - while in prayer. I record that lesson here....
An Eastern Orthodox Monk praying The Jesus Prayer
I pray "The Lord's Prayer" quite often. You would think that would mean I understand it. Not so much, necessarily, haha. Just three lines in, and I'm usually confused. "Hallowed by thy name." I've never gotten that. Why would I "hallow" the name of God? Who am I to declar God's name holy? I'm just Jason. Just some dude. I'm a human. God doensn't need me to tell Him He's Holy, lol. I've read books on The Lord's Prayer, but I don't remember anyone ever really sorting this out for me.
I understand that these words are a way for huamns to put diction to the proper ordering of their world. To put things in thir proper place. To "sub-ordinate" ourselves (not to mention other things, like boobs and boats and money and markets) before God. That, I understand. In other words, I have understood for some time that those words are more about our need to, as a matter of practice and habitus, speak them before God than they are about the need for God to hear them.
But I was still always left with this itching confusion. It still struck me as a kind of declaration. I'm still speaking something forth in the world. And, in that sense my "hallowing" of the name of God seemed insignificant. Like I said, I'm just me.
This morning, I was saying the "Prayer of Thanksgiving." It starts: "Almight God, Father of all Mercies, / We your unworthy servants give you humble thanks.." BOOM. I had to stop. Right there in my tracks.
God gave me to see that WE, as mere created human beings, "hallow" the name of God in the prayer that He Himself taught us to pray precisely because declaring God as "hallowed" IS a prayer of humility. I was given to see that my "hallowing" God is not my puffing myself up to see the glorious status of God at the top of a cosmic ladder. No. Instead, my "hallowing" of God IS and REQUIRES my humbling of myself before the God who is to be venerated, loved, thanked, and embraced in said humility. This might sound redundant, but this means I suddenly saw that "hallowing" God doesn't mean reaching, pointing, or climbing up towards him.
Here, what I had understood previously about the ordering of our world comes together with what had previously been a confusion. I was given to see not only that my confusion was because of an urge to puff myself up in the first place but that I was blind to said urge. God, in his gentle humility broke through both my blindness and my pride with one powerful breath of true life.
And, it was the very humility of Christ, in his grace and mercy, forgiveness and acquittal upon the cross by which I was given the gift of sight of my own urge to attempt to reach and "grasp" in an upward direction for the "hallowed" "glory" of God - a "glory" that He had already made known by and in the image of humanity reconciled and made whole in humble, suffering, others-centered love.
So, when I prayed, "Almight God, Father of all Mercies, / We your unworthy servants give you humble thanks..", I was stopped so powerfully, abruptly, and gracefully in my tracks, because, in a kairos moment of divine Grace, I was given to see NOT ONLY that I had been looking in the wrong direction. I saw not only that I had been trying to kiss the sky by grasping for the sun instead of kneeling. At the very same moment of "all things coming together," what really struck me was that MY humility is ALSO God's! I give humble thanks to a humble God. To a God whose glorious throne is a wooden, blood-drenched one of sacrificial and humiliating death - so that I may have the blood of life. My humbling is God's before it is ever mine in the first place. God and me "coming together" in humility during prayer this morning is a sign here of "all things coming together," a sign of the Kairos moment of God's appearing in the humble flesh of Jesus of Nazareth.
So, what I was given to see was that the Jesus Prayer basically amounts to the same thing as the third line of The Lord's Prayer. "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner" accomplishes the same thing as "Father in heaven, hallowed be thy name." And this is because, in the glory of Christ's sufferings, we have seen the glory of a humble Father. And, in the act of God's humbling, he identifies with and binds himself to me (as a member of his body, his people, the church), the guy who confusedly wanted to puff himself up and didn't know it.
See, what was happening as I prayed The Lord's Prayer without understanding it - and I had no idea this was happening - was that God, both in his life in Christ and by the work of the Holy Spirit (in conjunction with The Jesus Prayer) was "groaning" with me towards the redemption of all of creation. My confusion was like labor pains, and God's humility was my freedom:
From Romans 8:
19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the children of God; 20 for the creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and will obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; 23 and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies.
An Eastern Orthodox Monk praying The Jesus Prayer
I pray "The Lord's Prayer" quite often. You would think that would mean I understand it. Not so much, necessarily, haha. Just three lines in, and I'm usually confused. "Hallowed by thy name." I've never gotten that. Why would I "hallow" the name of God? Who am I to declar God's name holy? I'm just Jason. Just some dude. I'm a human. God doensn't need me to tell Him He's Holy, lol. I've read books on The Lord's Prayer, but I don't remember anyone ever really sorting this out for me.
I understand that these words are a way for huamns to put diction to the proper ordering of their world. To put things in thir proper place. To "sub-ordinate" ourselves (not to mention other things, like boobs and boats and money and markets) before God. That, I understand. In other words, I have understood for some time that those words are more about our need to, as a matter of practice and habitus, speak them before God than they are about the need for God to hear them.
But I was still always left with this itching confusion. It still struck me as a kind of declaration. I'm still speaking something forth in the world. And, in that sense my "hallowing" of the name of God seemed insignificant. Like I said, I'm just me.
This morning, I was saying the "Prayer of Thanksgiving." It starts: "Almight God, Father of all Mercies, / We your unworthy servants give you humble thanks.." BOOM. I had to stop. Right there in my tracks.
God gave me to see that WE, as mere created human beings, "hallow" the name of God in the prayer that He Himself taught us to pray precisely because declaring God as "hallowed" IS a prayer of humility. I was given to see that my "hallowing" God is not my puffing myself up to see the glorious status of God at the top of a cosmic ladder. No. Instead, my "hallowing" of God IS and REQUIRES my humbling of myself before the God who is to be venerated, loved, thanked, and embraced in said humility. This might sound redundant, but this means I suddenly saw that "hallowing" God doesn't mean reaching, pointing, or climbing up towards him.
Here, what I had understood previously about the ordering of our world comes together with what had previously been a confusion. I was given to see not only that my confusion was because of an urge to puff myself up in the first place but that I was blind to said urge. God, in his gentle humility broke through both my blindness and my pride with one powerful breath of true life.
And, it was the very humility of Christ, in his grace and mercy, forgiveness and acquittal upon the cross by which I was given the gift of sight of my own urge to attempt to reach and "grasp" in an upward direction for the "hallowed" "glory" of God - a "glory" that He had already made known by and in the image of humanity reconciled and made whole in humble, suffering, others-centered love.
So, when I prayed, "Almight God, Father of all Mercies, / We your unworthy servants give you humble thanks..", I was stopped so powerfully, abruptly, and gracefully in my tracks, because, in a kairos moment of divine Grace, I was given to see NOT ONLY that I had been looking in the wrong direction. I saw not only that I had been trying to kiss the sky by grasping for the sun instead of kneeling. At the very same moment of "all things coming together," what really struck me was that MY humility is ALSO God's! I give humble thanks to a humble God. To a God whose glorious throne is a wooden, blood-drenched one of sacrificial and humiliating death - so that I may have the blood of life. My humbling is God's before it is ever mine in the first place. God and me "coming together" in humility during prayer this morning is a sign here of "all things coming together," a sign of the Kairos moment of God's appearing in the humble flesh of Jesus of Nazareth.
So, what I was given to see was that the Jesus Prayer basically amounts to the same thing as the third line of The Lord's Prayer. "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner" accomplishes the same thing as "Father in heaven, hallowed be thy name." And this is because, in the glory of Christ's sufferings, we have seen the glory of a humble Father. And, in the act of God's humbling, he identifies with and binds himself to me (as a member of his body, his people, the church), the guy who confusedly wanted to puff himself up and didn't know it.
See, what was happening as I prayed The Lord's Prayer without understanding it - and I had no idea this was happening - was that God, both in his life in Christ and by the work of the Holy Spirit (in conjunction with The Jesus Prayer) was "groaning" with me towards the redemption of all of creation. My confusion was like labor pains, and God's humility was my freedom:
From Romans 8:
19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the children of God; 20 for the creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and will obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; 23 and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies.
The Narrative Is Not Closed
Back in mid-September, I went to NYC for a prayer school with Brian Zahnd. Soon thereafter, a bunch of beautiful things started happening. One of them was that I started to see a bunch of connections in and between things that I hadn't seen or noticed before. It was as though my imagination was enlarged by the presence of God in prayer. In this instance, I was given to see - in a new way to which I had previously been blind - the story of the church in the Apostles Creed. I record that seeing here...
*Pictured, a Mennonite AA Meeting, where they the practice of the kind of communion and forgiveness described at the end of The Apostles Creed, sustained by a "higher power"
One part of the Apostles Creed that has always confused me:
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
The Holy Catholic Church,
The communion of Saints,
The forgiveness of sins,
The resurrection of the body,
And the life everlastin. Amen
It always seemed to me as though the Creed basically ends with the previous line and then moves onto a weird list that abandonds the basic story-telling format of most of the rest of the creed up to that point.
The story seems to basically end with, "is seated at the right hand of the Father, / He will come again to judge the living and the dead." Then, it suddenly seems to become like an Excel Spreadsheet where the church recites seven apparently important data entry points that always struck me as basically separate from the previous part of the Creed. Like a laundry list, or a list of chores. Basically a mathematic data set that you arithmetically add up randomly until you get to the end and, voila, whatever random result pops out.
In prayer this morning, I was given to see that I have been confused, because I've been looking at it wrong! Well, duh. But, OK, let me explain. The story-telling format actually DOESN'T end. And, it's actually not just a data-entry set of mathematical, abstracted bullet points that we need to try to memorize and keep track of if we are going to be faithful in our remembrance and participation.
Actually, those seven "points" "point to" or "indicate" the whole of a myserious reality we are left with and continue in in "this age" between ascension and New Creation. The age of the church. She serves as and is an extension of the body of the crucified and risen Christ in the world, and she depends on the Holy Spirit for her very existence, as well as for her preservation and continued flourishing. Said flourishing is the demonstration and depicting of the Life of God embodied in Christ on earth for humanity to see, know, and love.
It is seen in a beautiful "communion" that requires, means, and is sustained by a reconciling and life-giving forgiveness, which is itself dependent back upon the power and prompting of the Spirit. In this sacrificial death to honor others in the act of forgiveness, everlasting life is glimpsed in a Kairos moment of truth and obtained as it is sustained in Christ, who "is seated at the right hand of the Father," making intercession for us all, who "made of one blood all the peoples of th earth." That "one blood" is His very own, which is what and who the first part of the creed is all about.
So, I now see, the two parts of the creed are not the cart being drawn behind the horse, so to speak. They aren't a cheap, rickety cart full of random trinkets to be stored away in a closet somewhere upon arrival at the next destination. They aren't even the trinkets of the bricoleur, randomly obtained and creatively used. No, they are the fulfillment of the originating story of all that is and that is heading towards the teleological end as the means of fulfillment of said original purpose. The end of the creed is the "light" upon the lampstand of the throne of God, shining in, for, and to the world.
10 Concerning this salvation, the prophets who prophesied of the grace that was to be yours made careful search and inquiry, 11 inquiring about the person or time that the Spirit of Christ within them indicated when it testified in advance to the sufferings destined for Christ and the subsequent glory. 12 It was revealed to them that they were serving not themselves but you, in regard to the things that have now been announced to you through those who brought you good news by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven—things into which angels long to look!
- 1 Peter 1: 10-12
After this I looked, and there was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb...
- Rev. 7: 9
*Pictured, a Mennonite AA Meeting, where they the practice of the kind of communion and forgiveness described at the end of The Apostles Creed, sustained by a "higher power"
One part of the Apostles Creed that has always confused me:
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
The Holy Catholic Church,
The communion of Saints,
The forgiveness of sins,
The resurrection of the body,
And the life everlastin. Amen
It always seemed to me as though the Creed basically ends with the previous line and then moves onto a weird list that abandonds the basic story-telling format of most of the rest of the creed up to that point.
The story seems to basically end with, "is seated at the right hand of the Father, / He will come again to judge the living and the dead." Then, it suddenly seems to become like an Excel Spreadsheet where the church recites seven apparently important data entry points that always struck me as basically separate from the previous part of the Creed. Like a laundry list, or a list of chores. Basically a mathematic data set that you arithmetically add up randomly until you get to the end and, voila, whatever random result pops out.
In prayer this morning, I was given to see that I have been confused, because I've been looking at it wrong! Well, duh. But, OK, let me explain. The story-telling format actually DOESN'T end. And, it's actually not just a data-entry set of mathematical, abstracted bullet points that we need to try to memorize and keep track of if we are going to be faithful in our remembrance and participation.
Actually, those seven "points" "point to" or "indicate" the whole of a myserious reality we are left with and continue in in "this age" between ascension and New Creation. The age of the church. She serves as and is an extension of the body of the crucified and risen Christ in the world, and she depends on the Holy Spirit for her very existence, as well as for her preservation and continued flourishing. Said flourishing is the demonstration and depicting of the Life of God embodied in Christ on earth for humanity to see, know, and love.
It is seen in a beautiful "communion" that requires, means, and is sustained by a reconciling and life-giving forgiveness, which is itself dependent back upon the power and prompting of the Spirit. In this sacrificial death to honor others in the act of forgiveness, everlasting life is glimpsed in a Kairos moment of truth and obtained as it is sustained in Christ, who "is seated at the right hand of the Father," making intercession for us all, who "made of one blood all the peoples of th earth." That "one blood" is His very own, which is what and who the first part of the creed is all about.
So, I now see, the two parts of the creed are not the cart being drawn behind the horse, so to speak. They aren't a cheap, rickety cart full of random trinkets to be stored away in a closet somewhere upon arrival at the next destination. They aren't even the trinkets of the bricoleur, randomly obtained and creatively used. No, they are the fulfillment of the originating story of all that is and that is heading towards the teleological end as the means of fulfillment of said original purpose. The end of the creed is the "light" upon the lampstand of the throne of God, shining in, for, and to the world.
10 Concerning this salvation, the prophets who prophesied of the grace that was to be yours made careful search and inquiry, 11 inquiring about the person or time that the Spirit of Christ within them indicated when it testified in advance to the sufferings destined for Christ and the subsequent glory. 12 It was revealed to them that they were serving not themselves but you, in regard to the things that have now been announced to you through those who brought you good news by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven—things into which angels long to look!
- 1 Peter 1: 10-12
After this I looked, and there was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb...
- Rev. 7: 9
Between Mary and Pilate
Back in mid-September, I went to NYC for a prayer school with Brian Zahnd. Soon thereafter, a bunch of beautiful things started happening. One of them was that I started to see a bunch of connections in and between things that I hadn't seen or noticed before. It was as though my imagination was enlarged by the presence of God in prayer. So, one morning, I saw worlds open up between two lines of the Apostles Creed that had previously been hidden to me. I record that opening here....
Christ and Pilate ("What is truth?"), by Nikolai Ge, 1890
juxtaposed against
The Sorrowful Mother (Mater Dolorosa), by James Tissot (1836-1902), 1886-1894.
Regarding The Apostles Creed, I've often heard it noted that a lot is left out between "born of the Virgin Mary" and "suffered under Pontius Pilate." In prayer this morning, it hit me like a ton of lights that this juxtaposition, taken in and of itself as it stands, says so much about who Jesus is and the life to which we are called.
For clarity, I'm not just referring to the supernatural conception of Jesus. It was not a juxtaposition between the supernatural birth and the "natural" death of Jesus that I was given to see in prayer this morning. I wasn't asked to affirm the culture wars and re-live the Scopes Trial.
Rather, I was given to see that the figures of Mary and Pilate embody and indicate two different paths and ends of our lives. Further - and more directly relevant to the background question of why it seems that the Creed leaves so much out - he who was born and suffered, in between said birth and suffering, REVEALED the difference that is so apparent in this juxtaposition between The Sorrowful Mother and Palestine's representative of Caesar. In between his birth and death, Jesus demonstrates to us the path led by the hand of God while, at the same time, thus enabling and empowering us to see - in a way that would have otherwise been impossible - the nature and end of the way offered to us by the power of Rome (or America).
Compare Pilate's at once utterly arrogant but also cynical, confused, and desperate line of questioning...
The figures of Mary and Pilate embody and indicate two different paths and ends of our lives. So, the juxtaposition between "born of the Virgin Mary" and "suffered under Pontius Pilate" doesn't really leave anything out at all. Instead, it affirms and articulates precisely what Jesus and Mary both proclaim:
"...for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice.”
Of course, this revealing of the nature of the path and ends of our lives makes no sense if, a few lines later, the same creed doesn't rightly say:
"On the third day he rose again.
He ascended into heaven,
And is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again..."
Otherwise, Pilate would not represent the end of our arrogance, cynicism, confusion, and desperation. He would just be precisely who we are meant to be - the height of status, glory, and riches to which we can and should reach, grasp, and claw. Our Beyoncé or Oprah, Trump or Steve Jobs.
Christ and Pilate ("What is truth?"), by Nikolai Ge, 1890
juxtaposed against
The Sorrowful Mother (Mater Dolorosa), by James Tissot (1836-1902), 1886-1894.
Regarding The Apostles Creed, I've often heard it noted that a lot is left out between "born of the Virgin Mary" and "suffered under Pontius Pilate." In prayer this morning, it hit me like a ton of lights that this juxtaposition, taken in and of itself as it stands, says so much about who Jesus is and the life to which we are called.
For clarity, I'm not just referring to the supernatural conception of Jesus. It was not a juxtaposition between the supernatural birth and the "natural" death of Jesus that I was given to see in prayer this morning. I wasn't asked to affirm the culture wars and re-live the Scopes Trial.
Rather, I was given to see that the figures of Mary and Pilate embody and indicate two different paths and ends of our lives. Further - and more directly relevant to the background question of why it seems that the Creed leaves so much out - he who was born and suffered, in between said birth and suffering, REVEALED the difference that is so apparent in this juxtaposition between The Sorrowful Mother and Palestine's representative of Caesar. In between his birth and death, Jesus demonstrates to us the path led by the hand of God while, at the same time, thus enabling and empowering us to see - in a way that would have otherwise been impossible - the nature and end of the way offered to us by the power of Rome (or America).
Compare Pilate's at once utterly arrogant but also cynical, confused, and desperate line of questioning...
33 Then Pilate entered the headquarters again, summoned Jesus, and asked him, “Are you the King of the Jews?” 34 Jesus answered, “Do you ask this on your own, or did others tell you about me?” 35 Pilate replied, “I am not a Jew, am I? Your own nation and the chief priests have handed you over to me. What have you done?” 36 Jesus answered, “My kingdom is not from this world. If my kingdom were from this world, my followers would be fighting to keep me from being handed over to the Jews. But as it is, my kingdom is not from here.” 37 Pilate asked him, “So you are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice.” 38 Pilate retorted, “What is truth?”...to Mary's proclamation....
(from John 18)
And Mary said:
“My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant."
(from Luke 1)
The figures of Mary and Pilate embody and indicate two different paths and ends of our lives. So, the juxtaposition between "born of the Virgin Mary" and "suffered under Pontius Pilate" doesn't really leave anything out at all. Instead, it affirms and articulates precisely what Jesus and Mary both proclaim:
"...for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice.”
Of course, this revealing of the nature of the path and ends of our lives makes no sense if, a few lines later, the same creed doesn't rightly say:
"On the third day he rose again.
He ascended into heaven,
And is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again..."
Otherwise, Pilate would not represent the end of our arrogance, cynicism, confusion, and desperation. He would just be precisely who we are meant to be - the height of status, glory, and riches to which we can and should reach, grasp, and claw. Our Beyoncé or Oprah, Trump or Steve Jobs.
Jeremiah and the Cyclops
Back in mid-September or so, I went to NYC for a prayer school with Brian Zahnd. Soon thereafter, a bunch of cool stuff started happening. One of them happened as follows during the week leading up to October 20, 2018, which was when I originally recorded this story.
The Cyclops Polyphemus tosses rocks at the fleeing Odysseus and his crew, by Louis Frédéric Schützenberger,
juxtaposed against a Greek Orthodox icon of the prophet Jeremiah
I've been friends with an extremely conservative libertarian constitutionalist for years. He's a political science professor so not quite the uninformed and ignorant reactionary that one might could easily dismiss as such. But, like many people we come across from both sides of the aisle, he often (now admittedly, see below) responds to me and/or the world out of irrational fear, anger, and frustration.
For years, I have engaged him on his terms, trying to converse or "argue" point for point on the philosophical, historical, or logical terms of his arguments / positions, often responding with power plays etc. I sometimes responded with critique, but still basically confined to those terms / rules. I often referenced N.T. Wright, Hauerwas, etc, even discussing Constantinism, etc.
Finally, I recently became completely exasperated with him after he told me he was "done with my ignorance" and that I both don't have a PhD and don't "understand the principles of hermeneutics." I started responding with things like a "Credible Hulk" meme: "You won't like me when I'm angry. I back up my anger with peer reviewed, scientific facts and sources." Just not taking him seriously at all.
Then I felt bad for responding that way. In my morning prayer last week, I felt led to reach out to him: 1. to find out if he felt wronged by me, and 2. To let him know the ways in which his responses shut down communication and make me feel disrespected / unlistened to, etc (over a long period of time), not to the point of rage, or anything, but certainly to the point of breaking or harming harmonious relationality / friendship. A whole different set of terms quite foreign to the previous terms with which I had engaged him. That meeting was initiated with a simple text: "We need to talk."
We gathered together this week around a table at Starbucks for something that turned into what some would refer to as a kind of Eucharist. I started by asking him questions about whether or not I had wronged him, broken relationship / friendship, etc. I clarified what I heard him saying, which led to him feeling heard. He ended up opening up to me about how he's angry, frustrated, and hurt by the direction of our society. To the point of a pretty deep borderline depression for the last year after taking an escapist trip up north to literally try to reclaim a longed-for time of the past. He considered moving to a quaint old town up north that's basically stuck in the '50's.
Interestingly, then: at one point, he said he himself feels stuck, and he doesn't really know why. He even confessed that he often responds to situations and conversations out of the above noted fear, anger, and frustration...which he also confessed explained some recent specific irrational outbursts of his on Facebook based on "credible facts."
He also opened up about how he feels that his spiritual gift is prophecy. So, with similar gifting, despite seeing the world very differently from him, I was able to very easily identify with his anger.
At that point, after completely changing the terms of the conversation to those of Jesus - only because I was prompted to do so in prayer - I was able to share with him about how he probably needs to take seriously a posture and practice of lament from a low position of trust, vulnerability, and the need for the merciful presence of God rather than taking a high position of anger, frustration, and argument. I initiated that by saying, "Umm, instead of anger and frustration, what about lament?" Something simple like that.
He looked and sounded like his world had just opened up and changed, as though a previously closed bronze portal had opened to the inside of Hagia Sophia, lol. We talked about Lamentations, and how even Isaiah wasn't often or typically angry but also was full of lament.
Going deeper, we were even able to talk about how or own depression, anger, and alienation stemming from feeling unheard will be the inevitable end results of holding onto to an image of God who has control of the world but isn't changing it for what we perceive as the better. Instead, God, too, takes the low position of relating relationally with us, in our presence, in our midst, rather than mechanically controlling things from above in a position of power over us. His prophets consistenly do the same. "For the joy set before him."
Then, once he was able to glimpse what I was saying - that only after I changed the terms of the conversation, and that only after prompted to do so in prayer, and that only after my having given up on my own way in exasperation lol - he said, "Well, I hear you. But, I feel like I'm just not sure I am even capable of doing that. Like, I feel stuck. I'm not sure how I would or could get to that point." This indicated to me that he was seeing the reality of what I was saying.
I waded slowly and gently into these easily-stirred waters and said, "Well, umm, I was at a conference a couple of years ago, and an Asian-American scholar named Soong-Chan Rah taught me that I sucked at lament because, like you, I'm a white male and have been shaped and trained into a place of not needing it. So, the key becomes that posture of vulnerability, trust, openness, and faith as compared to taking the posture from above that we are used to of anger, frustration, and a closed system of thought / logic." Again, HE ACUTALLY HEARD WHAT I SAID!! He again just looked down quietly, was deep in his thoughts and heart, then looked up at me, almost exasperated, and said, "Well, Jason. You've certainly given me a lot to think about. There's definitely something to what you're saying." HE NEVER SAYS THAT TO ME!! LOL!
He apparently walked away into a world that looks quite different, considering reading Soong-Chan Rah to lean more into this whole lament and relational presence thing.
I walked away sympathetic, in awe, and floored - rather than my typical feeling of anger and frustration after talking with him lol.
Notice a few things about the above juxtaposed photos as they tie into my story:
1. Odysseus' crew is fleeing, just as I often did or wanted to do from my conversations with my friend who was himself - in anger, frustration, and pain - tending to irrationally "hurl rocks" in the general direction of what he blamed for the world's story.
2. In contrast to the Cyclops, notice Jeremiah's posture. His hands are open. He is in a position of vulnerability, which is required for and makes possible the practice and exercise of relational faith, trust, and mercy (receiving) in the presence of God and other people.
3. The Cyclops is high above the crew he is attacking, hurling rocks DOWN at them. With our "facts" and "information," we often put ourselves in a position presumably "above the frey." But, my friend's depression seems to reveal where that leads. In comparison, Jeremiah is placing himself in a low and humble position below the One (or ones) to whom he is responding and listening (he even ends up in a well! lol).
**************
The friend about whom this story is written, about a week later, responded as follows:
"In the last week, I have spent more time with tears in my eyes, rather than anger in my heart. These tears are have a cleansing power."
**************
“Neuroscience has proven that pummeling your ideological enemy with factoids and arguments will NOT change their mind, only empathy can move them from a state of defense to openness.”
-Dan White Jr
**************
"The table is of more importance to the in-breaking of God’s kingdom than a voting booth.
Whoever has ears, let them hear." - Michael Gonzalez
**************
The Cyclops Polyphemus tosses rocks at the fleeing Odysseus and his crew, by Louis Frédéric Schützenberger,
juxtaposed against a Greek Orthodox icon of the prophet Jeremiah
I've been friends with an extremely conservative libertarian constitutionalist for years. He's a political science professor so not quite the uninformed and ignorant reactionary that one might could easily dismiss as such. But, like many people we come across from both sides of the aisle, he often (now admittedly, see below) responds to me and/or the world out of irrational fear, anger, and frustration.
For years, I have engaged him on his terms, trying to converse or "argue" point for point on the philosophical, historical, or logical terms of his arguments / positions, often responding with power plays etc. I sometimes responded with critique, but still basically confined to those terms / rules. I often referenced N.T. Wright, Hauerwas, etc, even discussing Constantinism, etc.
Finally, I recently became completely exasperated with him after he told me he was "done with my ignorance" and that I both don't have a PhD and don't "understand the principles of hermeneutics." I started responding with things like a "Credible Hulk" meme: "You won't like me when I'm angry. I back up my anger with peer reviewed, scientific facts and sources." Just not taking him seriously at all.
Then I felt bad for responding that way. In my morning prayer last week, I felt led to reach out to him: 1. to find out if he felt wronged by me, and 2. To let him know the ways in which his responses shut down communication and make me feel disrespected / unlistened to, etc (over a long period of time), not to the point of rage, or anything, but certainly to the point of breaking or harming harmonious relationality / friendship. A whole different set of terms quite foreign to the previous terms with which I had engaged him. That meeting was initiated with a simple text: "We need to talk."
We gathered together this week around a table at Starbucks for something that turned into what some would refer to as a kind of Eucharist. I started by asking him questions about whether or not I had wronged him, broken relationship / friendship, etc. I clarified what I heard him saying, which led to him feeling heard. He ended up opening up to me about how he's angry, frustrated, and hurt by the direction of our society. To the point of a pretty deep borderline depression for the last year after taking an escapist trip up north to literally try to reclaim a longed-for time of the past. He considered moving to a quaint old town up north that's basically stuck in the '50's.
Interestingly, then: at one point, he said he himself feels stuck, and he doesn't really know why. He even confessed that he often responds to situations and conversations out of the above noted fear, anger, and frustration...which he also confessed explained some recent specific irrational outbursts of his on Facebook based on "credible facts."
He also opened up about how he feels that his spiritual gift is prophecy. So, with similar gifting, despite seeing the world very differently from him, I was able to very easily identify with his anger.
At that point, after completely changing the terms of the conversation to those of Jesus - only because I was prompted to do so in prayer - I was able to share with him about how he probably needs to take seriously a posture and practice of lament from a low position of trust, vulnerability, and the need for the merciful presence of God rather than taking a high position of anger, frustration, and argument. I initiated that by saying, "Umm, instead of anger and frustration, what about lament?" Something simple like that.
He looked and sounded like his world had just opened up and changed, as though a previously closed bronze portal had opened to the inside of Hagia Sophia, lol. We talked about Lamentations, and how even Isaiah wasn't often or typically angry but also was full of lament.
Going deeper, we were even able to talk about how or own depression, anger, and alienation stemming from feeling unheard will be the inevitable end results of holding onto to an image of God who has control of the world but isn't changing it for what we perceive as the better. Instead, God, too, takes the low position of relating relationally with us, in our presence, in our midst, rather than mechanically controlling things from above in a position of power over us. His prophets consistenly do the same. "For the joy set before him."
Then, once he was able to glimpse what I was saying - that only after I changed the terms of the conversation, and that only after prompted to do so in prayer, and that only after my having given up on my own way in exasperation lol - he said, "Well, I hear you. But, I feel like I'm just not sure I am even capable of doing that. Like, I feel stuck. I'm not sure how I would or could get to that point." This indicated to me that he was seeing the reality of what I was saying.
I waded slowly and gently into these easily-stirred waters and said, "Well, umm, I was at a conference a couple of years ago, and an Asian-American scholar named Soong-Chan Rah taught me that I sucked at lament because, like you, I'm a white male and have been shaped and trained into a place of not needing it. So, the key becomes that posture of vulnerability, trust, openness, and faith as compared to taking the posture from above that we are used to of anger, frustration, and a closed system of thought / logic." Again, HE ACUTALLY HEARD WHAT I SAID!! He again just looked down quietly, was deep in his thoughts and heart, then looked up at me, almost exasperated, and said, "Well, Jason. You've certainly given me a lot to think about. There's definitely something to what you're saying." HE NEVER SAYS THAT TO ME!! LOL!
He apparently walked away into a world that looks quite different, considering reading Soong-Chan Rah to lean more into this whole lament and relational presence thing.
I walked away sympathetic, in awe, and floored - rather than my typical feeling of anger and frustration after talking with him lol.
Notice a few things about the above juxtaposed photos as they tie into my story:
1. Odysseus' crew is fleeing, just as I often did or wanted to do from my conversations with my friend who was himself - in anger, frustration, and pain - tending to irrationally "hurl rocks" in the general direction of what he blamed for the world's story.
2. In contrast to the Cyclops, notice Jeremiah's posture. His hands are open. He is in a position of vulnerability, which is required for and makes possible the practice and exercise of relational faith, trust, and mercy (receiving) in the presence of God and other people.
3. The Cyclops is high above the crew he is attacking, hurling rocks DOWN at them. With our "facts" and "information," we often put ourselves in a position presumably "above the frey." But, my friend's depression seems to reveal where that leads. In comparison, Jeremiah is placing himself in a low and humble position below the One (or ones) to whom he is responding and listening (he even ends up in a well! lol).
**************
The friend about whom this story is written, about a week later, responded as follows:
"In the last week, I have spent more time with tears in my eyes, rather than anger in my heart. These tears are have a cleansing power."
**************
“Neuroscience has proven that pummeling your ideological enemy with factoids and arguments will NOT change their mind, only empathy can move them from a state of defense to openness.”
-Dan White Jr
**************
"The table is of more importance to the in-breaking of God’s kingdom than a voting booth.
Whoever has ears, let them hear." - Michael Gonzalez
**************
Jesus As The Better Abraham
Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. 2 I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you, and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. 3 I will bless those who bless you, and the one who curses you I will curse; and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”
- Genesis 12: 1-3, God's call to Abraham
“By myself I have sworn, says the Lord: Because you have done this, and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 I will indeed bless you, and I will make your offspring as numerous as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore. And your offspring shall possess the gate of their enemies, 18 and by your offspring shall all the nations of the earth gain blessing for themselves, because you have obeyed my voice.”
Genesis 22: 16-18, God's blessing of Abraham
Eastern Orthodox Icon of Abraham
Back in mid-September, I went to NYC for a prayer school with Brian Zahnd. Soon thereafter, a bunch of cool stuff started happening. One of them was that I started to see a bunch of connections in and between scriptures and scriptural stories that I hadn't seen or noticed before. It was as though my imagination was enlarged by the presence of God in prayer. So, on the morning of October 13, 2018, a little less than a month after starting to pray basically every morning in the way I was taught, the weekly gospel reading was Mark 10: 17-31...
17 As he was setting out on a journey, a man ran up and knelt before him, and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 18 Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. 19 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal; You shall not bear false witness; You shall not defraud; Honor your father and mother.’” 20 He said to him, “Teacher, I have kept all these since my youth.” 21 Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said, “You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money[a] to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.” 22 When he heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving, for he had many possessions.
23 Then Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it will be for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!” 24 And the disciples were perplexed at these words. But Jesus said to them again, “Children, how hard it is[b] to enter the kingdom of God! 25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” 26 They were greatly astounded and said to one another,[c] “Then who can be saved?” 27 Jesus looked at them and said, “For mortals it is impossible, but not for God; for God all things are possible.”
28 Peter began to say to him, “Look, we have left everything and followed you.” 29 Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields, for my sake and for the sake of the good news, 30 who will not receive a hundredfold now in this age—houses, brothers and sisters, mothers and children, and fields, with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life. 31 But many who are first will be last, and the last will be first.”
- Mark 10: 17-31
First, note that Jesus "set off on a journey." "Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the son of man has no place to lay his head." Jesus is re-enacting the calling of Abraham. He has left behind the relative security of his family and homeland. Also, however, note that Jesus "went on a journey" in such a way that Abraham never could, because Abraham had neither the same Father nor the same home as Jesus.
Starting off on his sojourn, Jesus meets a "rich young ruler" who had in his grasp everything left behind by Abraham when God called him in Genesis 12. Remember that Jesus had already left behind far more. The original audience - who, however, couldn't yet have even begun to imagine who Jesus was claiming to be - would have nevertheless been able to easily make an association between the rich young ruler and Abraham as soon as Jesus asked him to join him on his journey.
The ruler is grasped by the urge to conserve what power and possessions he perceives himself to already have and is thus unable to obey the calling that Abraham heard and for which Jesus was destined from the foundation of the world. This despite the young man's apparent zeal for God, as demonstrated in his lifelong obedience to the commands of Torah. So, despite his refusal and inability, Jesus meets the rich young ruler where he is "in his journey" and - "Jesus, looking at him, loved him." It seems almost as though Jesus, in addition to recognizing the young man's love for the Lord in his obedience of the commandments, was also partially remembering the part of the story when Abraham already had a secure homeland and kinfolk. The time before the journey. To that end, then, it is perfectly appropriate that the "rich young ruler" is sent off back home after being unwilling to embark on the sojourns of Abraham and Jesus.
Peter, in noting his own and the other disciples' pilgrimage with Jesus, then seems to articulate with words how this band of brothers and sisters is itself re-enacting the journey of Abraham to a homeland from exile at the hand of foreign powers (said powers being Rome, mainly). “Look, we have left everything and followed you.”
It's interesting to me that Jesus then affirms that such a pilgrimage is a good idea. My first inclination would be to not indulge Peter's self-absorbtion. Unless, of course, it wasn't himself with which Peter was absorbed.
Instead, Jesus is affirming the whole history of Israel that Jesus and his disciples were living out. So, with that in mind, Jesus also then points to the ultimate vindication of Peter's own pilgrimage through a re-membering of Abraham's blessing in Genesis 22. "I will make your offspring as numerous as the stars of heaven...and by your offspring shall all the nations of the earth gain blessing for themselves, because you have obeyed my voice." (remember the homeland left behind by Jesus, which Abraham had never seen)
So, Jesus' reply to Peter is both remembering God's faithfulness to Abraham and a prophecy of Peter's future role in the church:
“Truly I tell you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields, for my sake and for the sake of the good news, 30 who will not receive a hundredfold now in this age—houses, brothers and sisters, mothers and children, and fields, with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life."
In the body of Israel, Abraham has indeed "received a hundredfold now in this time houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands..." In and because of Jesus, Peter and the rest of the disciples themselves constitute the very fulfillment of God's faithfulness to Abraham. That Jesus is fulfilling the blessing of God upon Abraham also means - when Jesus says "many who are first will be last, and the last will be first" - he is saying that many of the Jews "will be last", whereas many of "the nations" "will be first."
That casts into a new light the Jews themselves handing Jesus over to Pilate for "persecution." Pilate was their figurehead for one of those very "nations" who Jesus said would be "first." Jesus saved that stinger for the end of this story, precisely because he knew it would upset his kinfolk. The Jewish leaders sending Jesus to Pilate for crucifixion is quite the game of tit for tat. So, with Jesus response to Peter's outburst about "leaving behind everything" in re-memberance (reenactment) of the story of Israel - which is summarized in that of Abraham - Jesus is noting that the same "inheritance" awaits Peter and the church as that of Abraham. With the addition, however, of "persecutions."
The persecutions are added, because of the work of Jesus and the presence of the Holy Spirit, the church went onto embody a new and unified humanity. To "BE [to embody and enact] a blessing to the nations." Some people, finding such love to be strange and foreign - a bit like the land for which Abraham was unknowingly destined - obviously had a problem with such blessing in the form of radical(ly new) unity. Jesus is the better Abraham precisely because of them. In the persecutions of Jesus and his people are the greater fulfillment of the life of Abraham and God's promises to him.
Abraham, Isaac, Jacob...and Jesus?
When Jesus[a] saw the crowds, he went up the mountain; and after he sat down, his disciples came to him. 2 Then he began to speak, and taught them, saying:
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
5 “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.
8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
- Matthew 5: 1-11
Jacob Blessing His Sons, by François Maitre.
Back in mid-September, I went to NYC for a prayer school with Brian Zahnd. Soon thereafter, a bunch of cool stuff started happening. One of the first was that I was given to see Jesus as a patriarchal figure in the history and tradition of the Jewish people in a way that I had not seen or noticed before. This association would have likely been easily made by Jesus' original audience, but not for me. In prayer, I was given to see that....
With the Beatitudes, Jesus is naming and characterizing his people and blessing them, like a patriarch his children - like Abraham blessing Isaac, Isaac blessing Jacob (and Esau), and Jacob blessing his 12 sons.
For some reason, though, the blessings don't sound quite the same:
"Destitute...abject in spirit....those who mourn...gentle...hunger and thirst for what is right...merciful....pure in heart...peacemakers...persecuted and falsely accused of every evil..."
Well, isn't that quite the blessing? Haha. I doubt they expected that! Compare that to Isaac's blessing of Jacob:
“Ah, the smell of my son
is like the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed.
28 May God give you of the dew of heaven,
and of the fatness of the earth,
and plenty of grain and wine.
29 Let peoples serve you,
and nations bow down to you.
Be lord over your brothers,
and may your mother’s sons bow down to you.
Cursed be everyone who curses you,
and blessed be everyone who blesses you!”
It sounds like the exact opposite, in fact. So what moves me to imagine Jesus giving the same blessing to his heirs?
All three of those patriarchal blessings were just before the fathers died. "If you have seen me, you have seen the Father..." So, this blessing of Jesus was also prophetic. Not (only) in the sense of "predicting" the future, but in the sense of revealing and making apparent the work, presence, and heart of God.
That revealing is why his people - his children - are given the names and blessings they are given, which are all summed up in his own person. "Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies..."
Jesus reveals that being an heir of Israel, who was tasked with making known the way of life, is also to inherit the cross. The curses of Deuteronomy are reconciled with the blessings. "All things." Death, oppression, slavery, and economic hardship are absorbed into the flesh of both Jesus and his people, his children who also share in the glory of life, abundance, authority, and freedom of the resurrection. This is the story being told with the Beatitudes. The story of Jesus is the story of Israel.
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]
