Sunday, November 25, 2018
Jeremiah and the Cyclops
Back in mid-September or so, I went to NYC for a prayer school with Brian Zahnd. Soon thereafter, a bunch of cool stuff started happening. One of them happened as follows during the week leading up to October 20, 2018, which was when I originally recorded this story.
The Cyclops Polyphemus tosses rocks at the fleeing Odysseus and his crew, by Louis Frédéric Schützenberger,
juxtaposed against a Greek Orthodox icon of the prophet Jeremiah
I've been friends with an extremely conservative libertarian constitutionalist for years. He's a political science professor so not quite the uninformed and ignorant reactionary that one might could easily dismiss as such. But, like many people we come across from both sides of the aisle, he often (now admittedly, see below) responds to me and/or the world out of irrational fear, anger, and frustration.
For years, I have engaged him on his terms, trying to converse or "argue" point for point on the philosophical, historical, or logical terms of his arguments / positions, often responding with power plays etc. I sometimes responded with critique, but still basically confined to those terms / rules. I often referenced N.T. Wright, Hauerwas, etc, even discussing Constantinism, etc.
Finally, I recently became completely exasperated with him after he told me he was "done with my ignorance" and that I both don't have a PhD and don't "understand the principles of hermeneutics." I started responding with things like a "Credible Hulk" meme: "You won't like me when I'm angry. I back up my anger with peer reviewed, scientific facts and sources." Just not taking him seriously at all.
Then I felt bad for responding that way. In my morning prayer last week, I felt led to reach out to him: 1. to find out if he felt wronged by me, and 2. To let him know the ways in which his responses shut down communication and make me feel disrespected / unlistened to, etc (over a long period of time), not to the point of rage, or anything, but certainly to the point of breaking or harming harmonious relationality / friendship. A whole different set of terms quite foreign to the previous terms with which I had engaged him. That meeting was initiated with a simple text: "We need to talk."
We gathered together this week around a table at Starbucks for something that turned into what some would refer to as a kind of Eucharist. I started by asking him questions about whether or not I had wronged him, broken relationship / friendship, etc. I clarified what I heard him saying, which led to him feeling heard. He ended up opening up to me about how he's angry, frustrated, and hurt by the direction of our society. To the point of a pretty deep borderline depression for the last year after taking an escapist trip up north to literally try to reclaim a longed-for time of the past. He considered moving to a quaint old town up north that's basically stuck in the '50's.
Interestingly, then: at one point, he said he himself feels stuck, and he doesn't really know why. He even confessed that he often responds to situations and conversations out of the above noted fear, anger, and frustration...which he also confessed explained some recent specific irrational outbursts of his on Facebook based on "credible facts."
He also opened up about how he feels that his spiritual gift is prophecy. So, with similar gifting, despite seeing the world very differently from him, I was able to very easily identify with his anger.
At that point, after completely changing the terms of the conversation to those of Jesus - only because I was prompted to do so in prayer - I was able to share with him about how he probably needs to take seriously a posture and practice of lament from a low position of trust, vulnerability, and the need for the merciful presence of God rather than taking a high position of anger, frustration, and argument. I initiated that by saying, "Umm, instead of anger and frustration, what about lament?" Something simple like that.
He looked and sounded like his world had just opened up and changed, as though a previously closed bronze portal had opened to the inside of Hagia Sophia, lol. We talked about Lamentations, and how even Isaiah wasn't often or typically angry but also was full of lament.
Going deeper, we were even able to talk about how or own depression, anger, and alienation stemming from feeling unheard will be the inevitable end results of holding onto to an image of God who has control of the world but isn't changing it for what we perceive as the better. Instead, God, too, takes the low position of relating relationally with us, in our presence, in our midst, rather than mechanically controlling things from above in a position of power over us. His prophets consistenly do the same. "For the joy set before him."
Then, once he was able to glimpse what I was saying - that only after I changed the terms of the conversation, and that only after prompted to do so in prayer, and that only after my having given up on my own way in exasperation lol - he said, "Well, I hear you. But, I feel like I'm just not sure I am even capable of doing that. Like, I feel stuck. I'm not sure how I would or could get to that point." This indicated to me that he was seeing the reality of what I was saying.
I waded slowly and gently into these easily-stirred waters and said, "Well, umm, I was at a conference a couple of years ago, and an Asian-American scholar named Soong-Chan Rah taught me that I sucked at lament because, like you, I'm a white male and have been shaped and trained into a place of not needing it. So, the key becomes that posture of vulnerability, trust, openness, and faith as compared to taking the posture from above that we are used to of anger, frustration, and a closed system of thought / logic." Again, HE ACUTALLY HEARD WHAT I SAID!! He again just looked down quietly, was deep in his thoughts and heart, then looked up at me, almost exasperated, and said, "Well, Jason. You've certainly given me a lot to think about. There's definitely something to what you're saying." HE NEVER SAYS THAT TO ME!! LOL!
He apparently walked away into a world that looks quite different, considering reading Soong-Chan Rah to lean more into this whole lament and relational presence thing.
I walked away sympathetic, in awe, and floored - rather than my typical feeling of anger and frustration after talking with him lol.
Notice a few things about the above juxtaposed photos as they tie into my story:
1. Odysseus' crew is fleeing, just as I often did or wanted to do from my conversations with my friend who was himself - in anger, frustration, and pain - tending to irrationally "hurl rocks" in the general direction of what he blamed for the world's story.
2. In contrast to the Cyclops, notice Jeremiah's posture. His hands are open. He is in a position of vulnerability, which is required for and makes possible the practice and exercise of relational faith, trust, and mercy (receiving) in the presence of God and other people.
3. The Cyclops is high above the crew he is attacking, hurling rocks DOWN at them. With our "facts" and "information," we often put ourselves in a position presumably "above the frey." But, my friend's depression seems to reveal where that leads. In comparison, Jeremiah is placing himself in a low and humble position below the One (or ones) to whom he is responding and listening (he even ends up in a well! lol).
**************
The friend about whom this story is written, about a week later, responded as follows:
"In the last week, I have spent more time with tears in my eyes, rather than anger in my heart. These tears are have a cleansing power."
**************
“Neuroscience has proven that pummeling your ideological enemy with factoids and arguments will NOT change their mind, only empathy can move them from a state of defense to openness.”
-Dan White Jr
**************
"The table is of more importance to the in-breaking of God’s kingdom than a voting booth.
Whoever has ears, let them hear." - Michael Gonzalez
**************
The Cyclops Polyphemus tosses rocks at the fleeing Odysseus and his crew, by Louis Frédéric Schützenberger,
juxtaposed against a Greek Orthodox icon of the prophet Jeremiah
I've been friends with an extremely conservative libertarian constitutionalist for years. He's a political science professor so not quite the uninformed and ignorant reactionary that one might could easily dismiss as such. But, like many people we come across from both sides of the aisle, he often (now admittedly, see below) responds to me and/or the world out of irrational fear, anger, and frustration.
For years, I have engaged him on his terms, trying to converse or "argue" point for point on the philosophical, historical, or logical terms of his arguments / positions, often responding with power plays etc. I sometimes responded with critique, but still basically confined to those terms / rules. I often referenced N.T. Wright, Hauerwas, etc, even discussing Constantinism, etc.
Finally, I recently became completely exasperated with him after he told me he was "done with my ignorance" and that I both don't have a PhD and don't "understand the principles of hermeneutics." I started responding with things like a "Credible Hulk" meme: "You won't like me when I'm angry. I back up my anger with peer reviewed, scientific facts and sources." Just not taking him seriously at all.
Then I felt bad for responding that way. In my morning prayer last week, I felt led to reach out to him: 1. to find out if he felt wronged by me, and 2. To let him know the ways in which his responses shut down communication and make me feel disrespected / unlistened to, etc (over a long period of time), not to the point of rage, or anything, but certainly to the point of breaking or harming harmonious relationality / friendship. A whole different set of terms quite foreign to the previous terms with which I had engaged him. That meeting was initiated with a simple text: "We need to talk."
We gathered together this week around a table at Starbucks for something that turned into what some would refer to as a kind of Eucharist. I started by asking him questions about whether or not I had wronged him, broken relationship / friendship, etc. I clarified what I heard him saying, which led to him feeling heard. He ended up opening up to me about how he's angry, frustrated, and hurt by the direction of our society. To the point of a pretty deep borderline depression for the last year after taking an escapist trip up north to literally try to reclaim a longed-for time of the past. He considered moving to a quaint old town up north that's basically stuck in the '50's.
Interestingly, then: at one point, he said he himself feels stuck, and he doesn't really know why. He even confessed that he often responds to situations and conversations out of the above noted fear, anger, and frustration...which he also confessed explained some recent specific irrational outbursts of his on Facebook based on "credible facts."
He also opened up about how he feels that his spiritual gift is prophecy. So, with similar gifting, despite seeing the world very differently from him, I was able to very easily identify with his anger.
At that point, after completely changing the terms of the conversation to those of Jesus - only because I was prompted to do so in prayer - I was able to share with him about how he probably needs to take seriously a posture and practice of lament from a low position of trust, vulnerability, and the need for the merciful presence of God rather than taking a high position of anger, frustration, and argument. I initiated that by saying, "Umm, instead of anger and frustration, what about lament?" Something simple like that.
He looked and sounded like his world had just opened up and changed, as though a previously closed bronze portal had opened to the inside of Hagia Sophia, lol. We talked about Lamentations, and how even Isaiah wasn't often or typically angry but also was full of lament.
Going deeper, we were even able to talk about how or own depression, anger, and alienation stemming from feeling unheard will be the inevitable end results of holding onto to an image of God who has control of the world but isn't changing it for what we perceive as the better. Instead, God, too, takes the low position of relating relationally with us, in our presence, in our midst, rather than mechanically controlling things from above in a position of power over us. His prophets consistenly do the same. "For the joy set before him."
Then, once he was able to glimpse what I was saying - that only after I changed the terms of the conversation, and that only after prompted to do so in prayer, and that only after my having given up on my own way in exasperation lol - he said, "Well, I hear you. But, I feel like I'm just not sure I am even capable of doing that. Like, I feel stuck. I'm not sure how I would or could get to that point." This indicated to me that he was seeing the reality of what I was saying.
I waded slowly and gently into these easily-stirred waters and said, "Well, umm, I was at a conference a couple of years ago, and an Asian-American scholar named Soong-Chan Rah taught me that I sucked at lament because, like you, I'm a white male and have been shaped and trained into a place of not needing it. So, the key becomes that posture of vulnerability, trust, openness, and faith as compared to taking the posture from above that we are used to of anger, frustration, and a closed system of thought / logic." Again, HE ACUTALLY HEARD WHAT I SAID!! He again just looked down quietly, was deep in his thoughts and heart, then looked up at me, almost exasperated, and said, "Well, Jason. You've certainly given me a lot to think about. There's definitely something to what you're saying." HE NEVER SAYS THAT TO ME!! LOL!
He apparently walked away into a world that looks quite different, considering reading Soong-Chan Rah to lean more into this whole lament and relational presence thing.
I walked away sympathetic, in awe, and floored - rather than my typical feeling of anger and frustration after talking with him lol.
Notice a few things about the above juxtaposed photos as they tie into my story:
1. Odysseus' crew is fleeing, just as I often did or wanted to do from my conversations with my friend who was himself - in anger, frustration, and pain - tending to irrationally "hurl rocks" in the general direction of what he blamed for the world's story.
2. In contrast to the Cyclops, notice Jeremiah's posture. His hands are open. He is in a position of vulnerability, which is required for and makes possible the practice and exercise of relational faith, trust, and mercy (receiving) in the presence of God and other people.
3. The Cyclops is high above the crew he is attacking, hurling rocks DOWN at them. With our "facts" and "information," we often put ourselves in a position presumably "above the frey." But, my friend's depression seems to reveal where that leads. In comparison, Jeremiah is placing himself in a low and humble position below the One (or ones) to whom he is responding and listening (he even ends up in a well! lol).
**************
The friend about whom this story is written, about a week later, responded as follows:
"In the last week, I have spent more time with tears in my eyes, rather than anger in my heart. These tears are have a cleansing power."
**************
“Neuroscience has proven that pummeling your ideological enemy with factoids and arguments will NOT change their mind, only empathy can move them from a state of defense to openness.”
-Dan White Jr
**************
"The table is of more importance to the in-breaking of God’s kingdom than a voting booth.
Whoever has ears, let them hear." - Michael Gonzalez
**************
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