The Golden Ass

So for like the last year or so I was part of this really tight group of friends/"study buddies" at church (yes, church). Like about a couple months ago, our good friend, hailing from good 'ol South Central LA, got hit by a car on the 101 - while on his SKATEBOARD. Dude flew like a long ways and got knocked unconcsious for a few minutes and then was at church like two days later. With a bottle of advil, but there no less. We love Jose. God bless Jose.

So last night (Sunday night) my one-time (quite recently) roomie - Dave - was nonchalantly waiting at the stoplight at the boredom at the corner of Sunset and Edgemont. You know, in his own little world, thinking his own little thoughts. Approximately 5:55 pm (5 minutes before the sacred and solumn proceedings of...church). When suddenly there's a man laying upon the windshield of the car that is carrying Dave's suddenly very precious and vulnerable body - yelling loudly. "AAAAHHH!" Dave's natual, and not so bored, response - "AAAAHHH!" Crazy homeless people in Hollywood! ONLY in LA! This crazy man - 'twas Jose. Skinny little Latino gentleman who could beat us all up but would prefer to abstain. Upon the front of a car - again. When Dave finally recovered from Jose's "getting hit by a car" again, he put his window down, and said, "Jose, get in the car. I'll give you a ride the rest of the way to church." (a block, yeah, long ways). Punched Jose in the shoulder. Shook Jose's hand. Smiled, and, "You know this means I have to get you back, right?" Jose, "Bring it on." :)

Approximately 8:55 pm. Sunday night - after church (yes, church). Dave is driving down Hollywood Blvd. between Edgemont and Western, on his way to Ralphs. Dave sees Jose and a pretty little lady walking down the street, as is natural, since Jose lives in the area (and is a handsome devil). Jose and pretty little lady do not see Dave in the car upon which Jose had 3 hrs. previous thrown himself, disloging Dave's self from him self. Jose is a gentleman, keep in mind, and one of the things pretty little lady likes about Jose is that when he walks with her along the street, he walks closer to the street - to protect her. So anyway, Dave sees Jose, Jose sees not Dave. Dave is about to pass Jose on his way to Ralphs. But at the last moment, he swerves his big powerful and monstrous Honda Accord violently at Jose - with his brights on, his horn honking, and all parties involved yelling, "AAAHHH!" This was Jose's chance to use his protective powers - and get hit by a car - AGAIN! But not to worry. 'Twas only Dave. Did not actally hit Jose this time...

Approximately7:55 pm, Monday night (after work, yes work). Jason is on current roommate Jeremy's computer checking his email. Jeremy walks into the living room. Jason hears front door to apartmnt open. Says quietly, "What's up?" Jeremy goes into kitchen. Jason wonders why Jeremy is not walking into his bedroom to find roommate Jason on his computer. Jason walks out into the living room. No one? Hhmmm. Walks into kitchen. Refridgerator door is open, and Jeremy is bent down in fridge getting food out - at least aparently, as neither Jeremy or Jason can see neither Jeremy nor Jason. Jeremy only sees fridge full of wonderous food choices. Jason only sees boring and empty out-side of ugly-colored fridge door.

Jason walks up to door. Looks down over top edge. Thinks to himself. "HEY, it's former roomie Dave!" Says very boredly and nonchalantly to former roommate Dave, "Hi". Dave screams in deathly terror, "AAAAHHH!" Jason, himself scared out of his nonchalance, yells, "AAAAHHH!" Jason laughs hard and long till his belly hurts, throwing himslef upon the couch in the fetal position, laughing for a while until the laughter juices are gone and he is healed of the various laughter needing toxins that build up in one's body over boring and painful life.

Approximatly 8:35 pm - Dave tells funny story about Dave, Jose (having earlier thrown himself upon Dave's windshield) and pretty little lady all yelling "AAAAHHH!" Jason laughs loudly again. Jason is happy. Jason points out to Dave that Jose "got hit by a car again." Dave laughs. Jason laughs. Jason is moved to share story with cyberspace friends. Jason hopes they laughed too.

:)

Jason